We'll forever be enough.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
1:43 PM
This is the true post results day thoughts and feelings: i f***ed up sh*t what am i going to do what a mess am i really that stupid? It's sad how we take comfort in knowing that there are people who do worse, but hey, that's NOT nice. That isn't even a good outcome of education (yet it is).
Maybe it would have been better for me to have gone full arts. Maybe drop to H1. Maybe retain. But it really all doesn't matter now does it. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're a year older taking the A levels, or offerring one less unit than other students. What matters the most are your grades. #ishouldhaveknown
And I know it hurts. It hurts doing badly. It hurts being last. I entered the exam hall thinking, "Wow I'm the stupidest one taking the exam here because of my zero/one percentile (depending which subject)." Yes my prelim results were terrible it's a good thing I improved; I know there are those who didn't and I'm sorry. Anyway, so yeah. I know what it feels to suck. It sucks.
It's nice when people comfort you, saying things like it's ok there'll be a way don't give up it's not too bad blah blah. Thank you but I know I suck.
No, I did not cry. Should I? Maybe. Just that I'm not thinking about it. Don't dwell on the past because it's over (also because it's bad). I don't want to think about it please don't ask. Don't ask about how I did or where I'm going. I'm not so sure myself what to do. When I cannot even accept myself, how are others going to do the same?
Nothing is going my way is it?