Hurhur so I was gonna blog on Friday but I was too lazy.

Weep weep I totally suck at using android phones :/ yes this post is taking an awefully long time to blog heh. And I don't know what cover to get :( though I think without cover is the nicest :X gah it scares me to be holding such expensive things :/

Went for a picnic on Friday which was totally weird in my opinion. It makes me so upset. Just like me buying macs and nobody wants to eat. Fineee I can eat everything all by myself I swear.

Baaad timing to get addicted to D. Gray-Man :(

Heh too lazy to blog but anyways its the start of term 2!! Time flies. Sigh. Still haven't finished my crapload of projects :'( keeps my brain working 24/7.

Today was horrible. I woke up at 6am and boarded the train at like 6.30am. Lol like I can ever reach school in one hour. So yeah I was one minute late. I think. Tapped finger at 7.40.58. Grr. Good thing Kiran asked me to run so I ran lol :/

There's something wrong with me I feel horribly weak. I can't even sprint 200m without panting. And the crazy amount of steps to class which used to be bearable now leaves me breathless. And my bag feels heavy. And my back feels hunched.

Hahaha silly fire drill today during PE :D and good thing I didn't even change heh.

Chemistry olympiad training today :D so yeah I was tired so I kinda fell asleep here and there :( but it's the best subject IT'S THE ONLY SUBJECT WE ACTUALLY GET THE POWERPOINT SLIDES. Not like everything else where we need to keep copying AND listen-.- apparently it's pretty easy to win a medal, just pass round 1 :D sadly my chemistry isn't that fabulous :/

AEP after that and really I felt bad for missing the first 1.5hr cos of chemistry :/ mehh. I think my coursework sucks :'( And uhh I think I love the environment or something? Everything also do about saving the environment >< future environmentalist maybe ._.

My days are so packed and I am so busy why am I so distracted by everything why don't I have the willpower to complete things :'(

OMGOMG NUMBER 1 ON 913FM IS THE SCRIPT IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW YAYAYAY. THEY'RE COMING IN THREE DAYS I WISH I COULD GO :'( LAWSON IS COMING ON THE 5TH OF APRIL THAT'S NEXT WEEK OMG THIS YEAR IS TOO GOOD ><

Home remedies for dry cough? Nah sucking a lemon with pepper doesn't work. Neither does squeezing a lemon and mixing the juice with salt. Guess what! Crying helps! My nasal passageway is so clear now my throat isn't even irritated lol.

Oh and. If you're gonna sleep at 3am and not eat anything for the next 12 hours and cry in that time, you're gonna have a baaad time. I feel like collapsing ohgod.

Maybe I'm just not up for anything.

This totally sucks. First you make me so freaking demoralised (but I got over that already) and now you're putting me down. Great. Just great. Thanks a lot.

You come along because I love your face, and I admire your expensive tastes.

Just kidding I hate it. -rolls eyes-

It's not that I'm jealous. It's not that I'm envious. Frankly, I don't care. I don't care what you have that I don't. I don't care what you can afford that I can't. Because if there's one thing that my parents taught me well is that don't ever compare. Be grateful for what you have because everything comes from God.

Sure I'm not poor, I'm not rich either. I get by with enough to put a smile on my face every night before I go to bed and I'm grateful every morning when I wake up. That I'm still living this life. That I have a roof above my head. Doesn't matter how big or small, it's a place I call home. I don't need material things to make me happy. I don't need people to buy me things so that I can "have a taste of the rich life" because I don't want to.

Yeah I may have succumbed to peer pressure. I wanted branded stuff I never knew existed until I came to NJ. Branded stuff which aren't exactly expensive and high end but expensive enough to middle class citizens like me. Like what, three pairs of Converse, one pair of Nike, one pair of Adidas, Crumpler bag, Justin Bieber and One Direction merch, iPhone, yeah you get it. And it makes me disappointed because I wasn't brought up this way. I never wanted things. I never cared about fitting in. I never thought about being rich. I was contented with what I had.

You see, everyone wants more. Everyone wants better, branded, expensive. But do we really need those? No. So live with what you have. Don't brag because there are those out there who aren't as fortunate, wishing to have the life you lead.

I'm sick of society sometimes. That is why I rather keep to myself. Too many problems in the world that nobody cares or has time or can be bothered to fix, even if it's possible. So yeah. We're all lazybums hoping and praying for change that will never happen cause we're just lazy and rant on social media hoping to garner some attention, claiming to be "just voicing my thoughts". C'est la vie.

On a separate matter, yes hahaha not wearing pants is great.

Hahaha I used to love this song. It was so lovey-dovey it was stuck in my head for a long time I kept singing it but mehh. Taylor Swift ._. Contrary to my blogskin, I don't actually looove Taylor xP

Kiss me, just once, for luck, these are desperate measures now.

Gonna eat my all time favourite sweet (next to yupi gummies) cause YOLO hahaha. IF YOU ATE THESE BEFORE, YOU HAD AN AWESOME CHILDHOOD. And yes, I actually don't like sweets. :D

Edit: Okay I kinda regret it now -cough cough- but honestly, I kinda give up and eat anything now since my cough never recovers. Probably because I eat anything oops. I swear I might just get abs from coughing so much. As well as reduced lung capacity. :/

Urgh. The heat is pissing me off and putting me in a bad mood. And bad mood means multiple posts a day.

Can you believe it I can't find glue in my house like whaaat. Joke of the year.

I swear I never recover. I'm tired of coughing. I've been coughing for like two weeks already this is crazy.

MCR disbanded. Today just gets worse doesn't it.

"Don't wanna fall if there ain't no one to catch me...me without you."

Talked about our future like we had a clue.
Never thought that one day I'll be losing you.

Do you know how depressing it is to be reassured that I'm loved yet the possibility of breaking up with me lurks just around the corner. How do you even expect me to not feel insecure.

What the hell did I just waste my time.

If I ever had to choose, if I ever had to listen to, it will be God.

Sigh I don't know what to think. I always feel perfectly fine until someone knocks some sense into me and I'm like, "Shit shit shit why was I so stupid you're right." Like now.

I'd like to believe you. I'd like to trust you. I already hopelessly do.

Song of the Day: Happens in the Dark - JEDWARD hehe what a song *wink wink*

So today National Breakfast Day then macs gave free egg mcmuffin or something but I was too lazy to get out of bed until 930am (which was obviously too late). Although there were like three outlets I could have gone to. Oh the irony I didn't eat breakfast on National Breakfast Day :'(

Shooting was okay I guess. Seriously I have such a short attention span focussing so much made me soo tired :( hmm. What I would consider as a bad shooting day.

But today is a good hair day x) I haz found the secret to good hair days!! Haha just kidding the only good hair times I have are when I just wake up and right after I bathe :( and both can never happen on the same day._.

I swear karma really happens. Whatever karma is but uhh well I think I'll define it as retribution by God's will. So like a few weeks ago I was staring at people's legs (noo I'm not a perv) and yknow some people have lots of scabs and stuff so I was thinking (and I mean THINKING not saying it out loud or anything) thank God I have what I consider to be nice legs (or nice skin whatever) and that night I had a mosquito bite so I scratched it and the next day (up till now) it's an ugly scab. IKR THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!! So yeah I just peeled it and it looks horrendous so to everyone, please don't think bad stuff about others, even though you don't say it out loud. Sighpie. Scarred :'(

Haha okay that was totally irrelevant info which I ought to put on my second blog but I'm too lazy so this shall be a pretty long post x)

So today I received a love letter hehe teehee!! (I can go on giggling forever but that's besides the point.) So sorry for the depressing posts lately I was just like sighhh. Sighhh. SIGHHH. I don't like this life. :(

But then I realised it was my fault and I was being stupid again so sighhh. But then I realised that truthfully I am always happy being with you. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love the way you took at me. I love you.

Sorry for the cheeseyness. I love cheese fries too. Actually your cheese fries, not anyone else's hehe.

Today was the first time I have ever eaten at subway!!! :3 but truthfully, it's overrated and overpriced :( so not worth la :(

So I spend most of my time on Twitter straining my eyes trying to stay awake in the dark and meh. Okay next time I'm not staying up anymore. I'm being so freaking childish.

"And when the daylight comes I'll have to go but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close cause in the daylight we'll be on our own."
Well I guess I'll save it for another night then. If ever.

The next time my phone dies I'm not gonna bother charging it.

Meh. Now I know the meaning of making my feet hurt because they really do after thinking about all this :(

Haha saw Ariff after madrasah hahaha. Wah my facial recognition skills are worse than a Samsung SIII's the only reason I knew was because of his shirt ._. But anyway. The point is. His madrasah is the same time as mine. Which means he has always been beside my class. Which means I've seen him since last year. Omg.

If I didn't understand, if I didn't care, I wouldn't even be here by now.

I need to get away from this life.

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy <3

Hmm. So my mum is lecturing my sister on gaming addictions because, well, LoL is more than half her life. It's crazy. Either that or youtube/9gag and whatnot. And my mum was like, "Ask your sister how she did it." Meaning me and how I managed to get 'un-addicted' to maple.

Truthfully, I don't know. Or I don't remember. Or I don't choose to remember. Maybe because I broke off with Lakh. Maybe because of my overwhelming schoolwork. Maybe because I realised my dreams. But either way, it's true, leave or you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Gaming does no good. You are not a child anymore. Your life isn't supposed to be all fun and games.

Actually, looking back, I regretted. If not for maple, I probably could have gotten that 'Best in Malay Primary 5' if not for Atiqullah. And that 'Best Overall Pupil' instead of Jing Ling. And, well, Top PSLE Student in Singapore too, if I tried. If not for maple, I would have never gone to NJ. What more heard of it. I would have never gotten into any relationship at all and get myself wasted and ruin my dignity.

But you see, being a gamer girl is cool. But cool isn't worth you life and your afterlife. I agree, it was kinda immature, my whole life. But we all learn from our mistakes right? And we also learn from others' mistakes.

Sure I'm not those gone case addicts, but it's because I choose to. Why don't you try uninstalling whatever game you're addicted to, make yourself busy for a few months, and soon, you'll find that it'll be too troublesome to redownload haha.

Sure I still think about it sometimes, but I also think about how 'not worth' it is to continue. I can live my life regretting that I never got to level 200, but I cannot live my life regretting not achieving my fullest potential.

I'm not perfect but I keep trying. Sigh. Why am/was I so naive.

I just need somebody to love be my friend.

I hope my children don't get my bad genes :')

Cried for two hours. Gotta get myself back together. Because yuuuck I got eyebags now D:<

No more poison killing my emotion.

Stupid stupid stupid. I can't even.

Used to be you complaining that we don't talk enough. Used to. No more quantity time now. No more quality time now.

I'm not yours. Don't assume that you already have me. Don't take me for granted. Back at you.

Whatever la. You want your time right. Can't even spare any. Guess what you can have it all. Yeah, I'm that understanding.

Who am I to tell you what to do anyway. What's the point of me suggesting what I want? I can't be like 'I want your time', 'I want you to hug me', 'I want you to write me cards', 'I want you to call me', 'I want you to sing to me' or whatever shit. It's just not the same.

I don't want to lose you I don't want you to hurt me I don't want to hurt myself because of you I want you to stop bothering me if you don't have the time for me.

Gah super unproductive I think I'm gonna revert to my holiday sleep cycle which is sleep in the day and mug at night._.

Enough of you.

I'm not worthy. I'm not worth.

Song of the Day: Never Say Never - The Fray. Because I'm putting all this on myself now. Because I am more important to myself than anyone.

If I lay here if I just lay here would you lie with me and just forget the world?

This is me after waking up from my 5hr nap :D

Lol if Taylor Swift wrote a song Maybe I Was The Problem I would gladly quote the lyrics as my blog post titles.

Anyways. Track meet was boring and the sun was hot. Terra had to sit on the ground instead of the grandstand as usual. The only productive thing I did was Malay project which Farah and I completed our script for our video (which is really retarded). Took three polaroids after that and Deborah and Shian Yihh were so nice to "Buy 3 at the price of 2" x)

Free pocari sweat which the stupid cleaners threw away so many half drunk ones >:(

Didn't go shooting afterwards. Didn't go for class/house outing afterwards. Didn't go for any outing afterwards. Feeling extremely unsociable. The only people I talked to today in school were Amanda, Farah, Deborah, Sabrina, Ili, Jia Jue, Shian Yihh and Joshua. Less than 10 wow.

I'm sick of encouraging. Maybe it's true. That people make use of me. All the time. Just because I don't know when to stop.

Whatever I shall stop ranting because no matter how much I blog, it's still not equivalent to what I'm feeling right now.

Saw a pretty Catholic JC girl with her boyfriend in the train this morning :) so cute :) she has nice eyes :)

Cliche but I like. Ohwell. Who likes cliche nowadays love is always related to sex and such.

I'm broken, do you hear me?

I guess I could come to terms with the apparent absence your attention. Somehow living in pain is better than living with a forced smile.

Our conversations have gone to a whole new level where everything we're gonna say is so obvious and can be presumed. Sigh. Maybe all this love is getting into my head.

I don't know what you want. I don't know what I want anymore.

Tired. Physically. Don't wanna go shooting but I guess I will, unwillingly, tomorrow.

Tired. Mentally. So many expectations. So many deadlines.

Tired. Emotionally. I should just stop thinking and go cry in a hole. Nobody needs to know my problems. Nobody cares anyway. Sigh. Somehow the memories are always what I miss the most.

And I go back to December all the time. All my emotional highs in November-December huh. Always makes up for the rest of the shitty year.

Everything feels so distant now. The life I used to lead. The memories I had. And most importantly, you.

Lost my motivation for everything. Back to square one. I shall be on my own again.

Sigh. I really want to cry. Just so emotionally drained now. It's okay to cry if I'm sad right? Why is everything so different now? Where did I go wrong?

And the worst part is I'm just being selfish and demanding and overly attached. Screw this shit. But well yeah. I'll be right here whether now or never for you.

I wish I could just call you. Evenings in London never felt so sad, I wish you were here to share these days so bad.

Okay if I pass my LA compre, I'll train today. If not, I'll go home and cry. Meh.

Sometimes I think if I were to turn back time, would I still choose NJ? Would I go to RGS instead? I think I'd go NUS High. Not because RGS is not good or anything. It is a good school but I'm afraid I'll succumb to peer pressure like here in NJ. Besides, going to RGS is too mainstream haha. And NUS High appeals me not because I failed the DSA test but well, you get an NUS High Diploma when you graduate and you can go NUS straight which is like whoahhh.

And despite all my bad (I mean really bad) experiences in NJ, I still have to give some credit right? So yeah. Thank you for opening me to the world of research. I don't think I'll ever have any interest for research if not for SPIRE. And I guess all bad things happen for a reason so I'll just look at the brighter side of it. I would have transferred to VJ for their research CCAs but oh well. I'll never be able to get my E-STaR and president's award right?

God I really hope I'll get :(

Edit: I passed LA :'D but I shall go home and sleep ><

Tiring day. My sleep debt is snowballing. So is my work. Gah. Can't believe that after missing two lessons of IH, Ms Lim is more than halfway across the book. I hate catching up. :(

Grahh. AEP due tmr and I can't do anything I hope it gets done though I don't wanna fail. Still got coursework to do omg. Yes I feel like an artist when I say coursework but my imagination just isn't good. Still have Bio, Chem, Phy, GS, IH article review and Malay projects. Sigh what holiday.

Shooting today was tiring but fruitful yay. Not sure if I should train tmr or go home and sleep and chiong homework and projects because there's really a shitload and I'm training on Friday anyway.

Didnt get LA compre back today but I'm prepared to fail anyway. Sigh. There goes my president's award. But I mean like obly 5 people passed. And Petrina got 34/50 AND SHE'S PETRINA GENIUS. Who am I to compare. Sigh. I like to think I'm a genius. Sadly, no.

The only reason I don't want to make obvious efforts trying is because if I don't produce results then what's the point?

So stressed even falling asleep in class is still paying attention with my eyes closed.

Meh. I can't put my finger on it. Something's different. It's not the same as before. Hah. Who am I kidding. Obviously things change. You stupid girl see I told you why did you have to get your heart involved so soon you could have just said no from the start I told you everything is turning out the way I predicted.

Sigh today is totally not my day. Forgot where I put my specs after bathing so had to wear my old specs. My eyes. They hurt.

PE was horrible I shall concede defeat. Forever the slowest runner. And standing broad jump I think I jumped like 185cm? Without any warm ups. I think Miss Lim didn't care about me :'( meh. Not an A though. I think. My strength is depleting over the years. Sigh.

Didn't eat anything today hah. Might as well pay back my fast right. I probably should. Really.

Went to return blazer and the librarian at the SH library said to go return at JH library so I went down and the librarian at the JH library said to return to the SH library so I went up again. Meh.

E-STaR interview today. It was Mr Yong and Mr Nah. Quite okay luh. Besides being stupid and saying "I live in Pasir Ris" as something interesting about me. Ohgodwhy. Should have said something like I wanted to go to NUS High or that I wanted to transfer to VJ cause they have research CCAs. Meh. I hope they think everything else I say was cool and interesting :/

AEP is so freaking depressing. Yeah being an arts student sounds cool and all but its really stressful. Animation due today and we were only like 50% done. And adobe flash kept crashing. Then wanted to upload it to google drive but Alina accidentally offed the plug for the mac that I was using. I'm not angry. Just upset. And the file was so damn big I had to delete so many things from my thumbdrive and SD card BUT STILL IT COULDN'T FIT. Sigh I know I shouldn't be so affected. Its just pictures that I deleted. Butbut its pictures over the years. I feel like crying gahhh.

Super latest I've gone home from school when tmr is a school day. Besides those debate days. But still. Gah. Mentally, physically and emotionally drained.

"Cause he don't really wanna know about the way you're feeling now."

Teehee today/yesterday so happy thank you :') though at the expense of my sleep hmm :/

Gah just realised how stupid and immature and naive and stuck up I was last time ohgod. One thing I hate about facebook :/ I will also delete my blog posts heh. If I have the time. Maybe. Aaah embarrassing ttm. And this is why I don't use facebook anymore :3

So yeah. So sleepy. MI test was umm...idk. I suppose my memory was quite good considering lack of sleep and last minute studying in mrt heh. And some people got back their compre and no surprise, they failed. Ohno I don't want to fail. I can't afford to. :( fell asleep in chem. Yaaawn.

Meh some AEP outing tmr. No thanks. I am not gonna skip school for the fourth time. Three days is bad enough. Worse than that. Just hope I won't lag behind gahhh.

Zoom term 1 is over ._.

Wanna wake up next to yours each day.
Baby let me be your saving grace tonight.

Heh. I'm doubting myself. :( why am I being so altruistic, giving and not expecting? Sigh. Shall just push those thoughts aside. Must be selfish. Can't be so soft anymore.

So can we do it all over again?

Shut up if you have no reason to talk to me. People who anyhow say things >:( I swear there's so many people determined to destroy me. Oh well.

Chemistry and physics groups do something please. LA also. Hurh. I missed three days of school and yet I do the most. #logic and just because it's due in term 2/3 doesn't mean that we should procrastinate right. Lol. Reminds me of madrasah project which we're gonna die tmr because some people didn't do their parts. And Hayati was like "I know I'm being a bitch but I really cannot stand these people." AGREE AGREE. Yes I'm selfish. Yes I'm grades oriented. So what.

Today is a quiet day the only thing that is alive are my Twitter mentions. Sigh. Totally unnecessary. And I admit spending almost 4 hours playing this game called osu! :( no I will never play another computer game. Ever.

Also, I practically coughed my stomach out. Just kidding. But really. What sort of coughing fit is it?? 5 mins straight I felt like I was gonna die. Twisted stomach, standing at the sink with lots of saliva and digestive juices flowing out of my mouth. Coughed so much until I started tearing omg. My poor now non-existent alveoli :'(

Haha the new in thing. ask.fm ._. Mehhh. I also wanna do but why would I want people to know more about me than they already do?

You make me laugh you make me cry I don't know which side to buy.

Today (Friday) was such a time wasting day. Woke up at 5am just to reach school at 645am then transport guns to SAFRA and ate macs there and slacked when my detail started at 235pm. Sigh. The lessons I miss :( the NIS (I prefer to call it NTUIS) shirt is kinda nice though :) but its 12 bucksss! I think NJCIS shirt will be nicer :P

Lousy shoot today. Don't like it when people watch me shoot :( my fundamentals are screwed sigh. But well. I feel it more so I guess that's good.

Hahaha. Stop sucking up to the seniors please. Disgusting. Sure you want to make them your role models but this is just too much. Don't think you're so great, cause truthfully, you aren't. Just pampered.

Totally wasted my Friday night by watching my sister play LoL. But yeah. There's only so much I know from watching heh.

Mr Phua reminded me that I have E STAR interview :( and I went to check. Omg who is my interviewer!!! And sigh not surprising that a lot of the scholars signed up too. Since they didn't really get to experience SPIRE I guess. But ohno gotta read up on all the neurology and immune system vaccines and stuff I crapped in my application T.T

Long day but I don't feel tired. Gonna regret it. Still feeling horribly sick and the amount of lessons I missed this week just scares me. Oh and I hope I won't get gastric for skipping dinner. Meh. Not exactly skipping cause I didn't cook enough for myself lol. Genius.

What are piecewise functions what is life. Why won't anybody help me. I think I care too much. So much for unconditional. Greatly affected by what you said because that's me disappointing myself but I shall not think about it.

Grr. Bitchy insensitive mood. -throws phone across the room-

So today was go school late day where the MRTs smell horribly of free newspaper they give out every morning. I wasn't too bothered, surprisingly, was having a weird dream O.o

Took the bus and was sitting beside this woman who was typing on her Macbook (so cool!) and she was writing a book or something I think! Sorry for not minding my own business :/ but yeah it was about Chief Pencil Case and The Pencil and The Eraser and The Blue Pen and The Stapler and The Fountain Pen. Some more which I can't remember. Wanted to suggest adding The Correction Fluid but heh. Just a thought that crossed my mind. She must love her job.

You know. I wanted to be a teacher hahaha. Then I wanted to be a poet heh. And now I want to be a biomedical engineer. I think its because school shapes our thinking in such a way that anything not related to science has no future, adding to the fact that you'll do badly in it. But the thing is, I actually love language. Funny coming from a triple science student, like, I should have taken Advanced Lit right? But nah, I'll fail in that.

Choices, choices.

On the bright side, I shot internals today. Not bad I guess. 364/400 it's an improvement so sigh. Calculative me. Perfect 10 yea.

So today I went to school for LA test. Specially for LA test. And math actually but that was the last 15min of lesson weep weep. Someone teach me piecewise graphs or whatever you call it :/ LA essay was okay I guess. And like I always do, I chose the education topic lol. Something about the tuition industry being the only thing that keeps Singapore's education system afloat. And well yeah. You know. I'm anti-tuition._. I thought I wrote okay anyway. With my throbbing head.

Sigh wanted to train today but I didn't feel good. Which leaves me tmr. Where I need to rush AEP too. And I need to catch up on this week's lessons. Sighpie. Life sucks when you're sick.

Hungry hungry. Practically the only thing I ate in two days is my medicine.

Oh in my numerous naps throughout these two days, I dreamt that I had a polaroid camera. The one which can take bigger pictures than the usual credit card size one. Aaah. Dreams. Depressing much.

Hehe bought a flower for tmr's bio dissection^^ seriously we're gonna dissect a flower._. Anyway I don't know what it's called but hey, it was cheap! 90¢ heh :3 I think the guy was looking at me weirdly when I bought it :/ Like I'm so forever alone buying for myself a flower lol. Good thing I'm a girl because I'll be so embarrassed to buy for my girlfriend a flower :X hmm well. Flowers are nice. Giving flowers is sweet. But really, I have no idea what to do with them all the time haha. Dissect maybe. Here's a picture of the flower I bought :D and my cat sniffing it._.

Yuck I feel so horrible today :( missing so many lessons... Should I go to school tmr for LA test gah my head still hurts although I slept for practically half the day.

Pretty glad that my medicine are pills which are easy to swallow :')

But omg. Is my immune system that bad. The last time I was sick was during CNY the weekend I think. That's so...recent.

Hmm I should get some work done but truthfully I don't have the strength to get up.

Boring post because what else is there to write about sleeping.

Sooo. Forgot to bring chem to school. Fell asleep in chem and gs. Don't blame me man I'm sick. Grr. Absolutely hate malay. Test on Thursday then push to Monday. No warning. AND ITS FREAKING GRADED. Now, on normal days I wouldn't mind but right now my head is throbbing really bad and my nose won't stop leaking so yeah. Hopefully I'll get mc at the doctor later. Though, being a mugger, I really don't want to skip school :(

Ho. Guilty.

Typing this at 11.22pm, Sunday. Because I don't have internet. Annoying that my sister is overly attached to her laptop to the extent that my parents have to confiscate the modem. Again. So yeah. Posting this in school again.

Its pretty early but I'm tired :( ohwell aftereffects of using the com for 5 hours straight. I know that's not much. It isn't much for me last time too. But yeah now my eyes are dying. But seriously this feels great I can stay up till the wee hours everyday and not feel sleepy for one week :3

So yeah. Overshot my position paper word limit. By almost 1000 words lol. Whatever man. You should give me more marks because look at how much interest I have towards politics I have to express it in almost 3000 words. Haha. I hope so. About the more marks.

And no, I don't even know why I bother giving feedback to the school. It doesn't benefit me in any way. The shelter is for Moody Cash (NJ's security guard!) and I don't want the fame or anything. And another thing, I don't even say hi/bye to him. So there's no reason for me to actually embarrass myself in front of the whole NJ community on NJC Confessions. And the whole school management probably knows too because they monitor the page. Yay me what did I just get myself into. Best case scenario: they want me to run for council. Haha.

Sighpie. I'm falling sick again. :(

Whatever la I'm pretty happy ^_^ Ever wonder what happens when two muggers get together?

Teehee today is/was a productive day/night! ^^ well besides the time spent arguing and being such a worrywart :/ but that's okay :D and besides the fact that I have GS position paper due on Monday. Sigh. Not fair 402 gets to hand in on Thursday!! >:( But yeah. I didn't wanna finish mine today/yesterday (Saturday) because I'll end up not doing anything else :( but yes, its worrying that I have one day left T_T

Oh and I never thought I'd say this but GS actually made me interested in politics :/ was actually considering to join the youth wing (of I won't say what party here) then I realised politics is dirty plus scary so no :( but someone has to clean it right? :) hmm.

Scariest encounter of my life. Yet. Because I know there will be scarier ones :')

Hohoho I would have continued mugging but nooo. I have religious class in...uhh...6 hours time :/

In other news, better make use of my seven days of newfound energy to study :'D

In other other news, I downloaded Plants vs Zombies in my phone for free! :D its small and difficult to play though :( but still easier than maple on iphone._.

Gah I'm ranting and advertising O.o goodnight sleep well my dear readers :D (who are always the same few people hmm.)

Who cares about being sad seriously. Sadness is reserved for disappointment and loss.

The war's not over. You don't surrender. You keep pushing. Gah really. Like LoL? You get into a lousy team (your lousy circumstances), yet you pick your champion/skills/items (you use what you have) and you play (you do what you need to do to succeed). You read forums and guides and stuff to play better and modify your strategy, same thing.

The only difference is that in life, the stakes are high. And that when you lose, you don't blame your team. You don't blame others.

I know whatever I say is freaking cliche but it is true. Don't give up because I'm not giving up either.

Where's the you I used to know? Where's the you I fell in love with?

Edit: Beyond sad. :( I just wanna be the hand you hold when you're crying I just wanna be the voice that tells you it will be alright.

So close. I was gonna say 'wtf'. But nooo. I don't always say 'wtf' but when I do, I don't. Though some situations do call for such crude words.

Screw you. And no, I don't mean it literally. Grr. I feel disturbed lol. Makes me wonder if I'm still the same person I was four months ago.

This stupid hormonal roller coaster. The only person who actually isn't affected is my sister haha. Everyone else and I'm like rageragerage. Can I please throw away my social life for a week.

Everybody seems so happy. Oh well good for you then. I'm at my rock bottom low. But that's okay. As long as you are okay.

Zzz. Was gonna blog during school hours but couldn't find the time to :( urgh. I am never gonna sleep late ever again. Fell asleep in physics and math. Shooting was good though no more jerking :D took a long time getting used to triggering. Stupid insensitive jerk >:(

Today was release of A level results. Omg so scary. I can't bear the thought of going through this in three years time. Its like PSLE all over again. I hope.

So lately I haven't been in my best of moods. Sorry to the people whom I have less-than-friendly conversations with. Not saying that I'm smart or highly intelligent or anything, but I'd rather talk about highly intellectual and mature things. Which means that I'd rather talk to highly intellectual and mature people too. Lol. Who am I kidding. I just hate talking okay. Just shut up.

Gonna study until I crash nobody disturb me goodbye world. Leave me alone I'm lonely tonight.