YAY I AM SO HAPPY~! :D hopefully that crap Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD?!) and my second depression would be goneeee :D

Sidenote: But actually not. And HAHAHA you faillll :D I'm not thaat bad/rebellious -.-

Anyways, I did my first speech! O: cause I didn't have a choice (and take one hour) >< ah, bad memory. Eee. Although is was damn short (should have spoken slowwwwer :D) and quite "empty" cause no points :/ ahaha so happy~! The motion was okayyy. The points weren't :/ I mean like, gay marriages should be legalised because gays are people and they have rights to protect them. This meaning, freedom of choice. Therefore, they should be allowed to marry openly and be recognised as a couple because rights can only be taken away if you harm/violate someone else's rights. Gays obviously do not harm others therefore, this right should be given to them :D sounds okay to me, but it contains alot of flaws )': nvm not bad, stupid girl :D

Stupid girl. You'll never get anywhere like this. I was like: >.< all the way -.- stupid girl. Urghh. This thing is gonna bug me for the rest of my life. I couldn't even eat dinner. Stupid girl. Stop being so stupid. Why did I even join in the first place? Oh yeah. That. Nevermind. Stupid girl. If things can't change then change your ways! :@ stupid girl. I spent my whole journey home thinking about my stupidity. Urghh. You don't like me? Well I don't like myself either! >< Failfailfail. Stupid girl. I am so mugging debate (somehow?) for six hours straight tmr. Forget about Owl City )': Stupid girl. Banging my head against the wall wont help. Urgh. I wanna kill myself already. EVEN IF I don't, I'll die of embarrassment anyway. Slippery slope. Has that happened? No. Has it been proven? No. Stupid girl.

Noooooo. I am such a failure. I wish I can say things as well as I write them down or think in my head ): I'LL CRY IF I GET KICKED OUT )': Finally I found something worth learning and enjoying (?) AAAARGH I WILL NOT GIVE UP!! I swear I shall be better sooooon T.T urghhh two more weeks. I will improve T.T I wish I sound as brave and courageous as I am here )): Oh heck, I bet reciting my The Tempest epilogue would be a hellotta better. At least I don't have to think what to say. At least I memorised the whole damned thing. Should have prepared more for today. Rather than just one hour after school. I'm a preparing type of person. I'll die without preperations. I think I know why I'm scared. My voice sounds funny when I'm nervous. I can't speak loudly or my voice would go damn high pitched (so unlike me). I need reassuarance. Like, I don't know. Through debate so far, I can now talk at ease in front of people I know. I mean, classmates. As for them... I don't know you!! T.T and I hate bad impressions. Yeah, I gave a very bad one already anyway ): I SHALL REDEEM MYSELF!! Oh heck, bad impressions? I'm a sick person?? O: I mean, it just came to mind T.T IT WAS SO OBVIOUS! T.T ohwell, its called seeing it from many perspectives :D whatever, I will improve. Soon. Heck about the "I am on a blog-free vacation" -.- I am so friggin stressed. BUT. Its good for me so I shall continue. Seriously, I should practice reciting my epilogue crap. In front of them. Oh how stupid that will sound.

Hahaha idk why the title is in malay (my first!) :/ google translate if you want -.- Lol I know I'm not supposed to post anymore but wadeva >< Random things which came to mind:

HAHAHA so funny. To think that you'd actually call me an idiot. Never in a million years. I hope.

Im so gullible. I believe what everybody says.

Ironically, life is too short for regrets.

Urghh. School tmr -.-

Omg. I found out something interesting! :D My left hand is longer than my right!! O:

I am hungry. Omnomnom.

I don't understand. I thought its "you get back what you give"? (in a bad way) How come I get back what I give and not others? :/

Uhh okay anyway, to the person(s) it may concern:
No, I do not like you. I'm sorry if I flirt, it just came over me. I'm not despo/desperate.

Thankyou :D

And, one of my weird reasonings, since I'm "disowned", doesn't that make me eligible for an orphanage? Idk, I shouldn't be thinking about these stuff. I got debate to do. Which is really really important.

So anyway, do I really love you? I don't want you out of my life, but at the same time, I don't want you in either. OH, another reason why life is like (a) debate, there is no black and white. Its all grey. Like, I can't give a yes or no (yet), its all maybe.

Okay, goodbye blog, for a seriously indefinite amount of time :D

Take care, everybody who reads this <3 :D

Hello, my blog shall be closed until further notice. (Until I find myself) So, unless you're a really big fan of my blog (not me) then tell me and I might update again. Right now, I'm going on a blog-free vacation! :D or so I think.

Ps. Don't believe whatever I say (before today), thanks.

Life is like a debate. Sometimes, you say the wrong things. Sometimes, you are afraid. And sometimes, you lose. But that's what life is anyway. Sometimes, the opposite happens. And you should be grateful.

I had many rebuttals to make, but I forgot most anyway.

So, whatever I say turns back against me? That's just great. *sarcasm* (in case its not obvious)

To everybody who read this blog this far, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. But even if you don't, well, I wish you all the best, sincerely.

Where did I go wrong,
I lost my friends.
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save my life.

Nooooo. I can't go back now. Eee what am I gonna do. I miss you already D: well, my fault anyway. I'm still not fully normal yet.

I'm gonna buy Owl City's new album soon! :D YAAY~ <3 All Things Bright and Beautiful. Owl City FTW~ Okay, so now I think I'm quite retarded writing posts ppl don't even understand :/ so well, I shall be lame and write what happens in my ever-so-boring life instead of some crap I'm thinking of >< maybe. Habits don't die easily. Gosh, suddenly all I can think of is why why why so what thanks to Shao ._. Well, at least its useful >< my PEEL/TRES is gonna be so awesome :D Lol okay wadeva. I finished my LA homework -- finally! Its looong. I wrote alot. Well, more than usual. More than I ever did anyway. Damn, I fell asleep while reading the debate book >.> Seriously, all I know aboud debate is rebuttals ): epic fail. Waaa pressure!

Goodbye maple. At least for two days anw O.o what is that word? Abstinence? O_O

How could you...? But after yesterday/Thursday, I don't think I even bother about all these kind of thing anymore.

I was going to apologize until you called me an idiot -.-

I gave away my maple acc. Temporarily. What a waste, lv97 -.- NEVERMIND!

Damnnn will I make it? As it is right now, I don't know much. Yes, I need experience but still... My mind is gonna explode. God help me. I've got competition. Thought I was alone. I'm not a loud person, I'm not experienced, I don't have confidence. How am I gonna make it? "I will work harder." - Boxer, Animal Farm

I can't decide now! I'm still young. I don't wanna think about all this. I don't wanna worry about you. I obviously know what's the right choice but I'm me, so I don't always like what's right. Like now. Please, I need 3 years. At least. So its my fault that I'm young and naive and unreasonable?

Clarification: The last post was meant to be "Exactly 11 months, what a waste" instead of "Exactly 11 wasted months".

Omg. Your kindness is to die for. Although i bet there's a hidden agenda or for your own benefit or you feel guilty. I am so friggin scared. He is scary too. My trust is misplaced.

Ah, so this is your true self. I should have guessed. You love me you like her. You make me laugh, you make me cry, I don't know which side to buy. Time to move on. For real. Why do you ask others to speak for you just to break my heart?

Why does it always come down to this. I wish i never met you.

Dear me,
Please get a grip of yourself and move on. All guys are the same. They love you and they leave you. So what if i have no life? I'm already an annoying bitch by your standard. Why bother telling everyone when it doesn't concern you anymore?

Ah well. Someday, when i know myself better, please come back.

Exactly 11 wasted months.

I went for debate. It was scary T.T And I'll be going again on Thursday. And Friday. And for the rest of my NJ life )): Sobs. School is starting~ And I'm only lv94 -.-

I messed up once, I messed up twice,
So how many times are we gonna try again?
I don't know.

Congratulations. I just ruined 19/20 of my life. You don't understand. Nobody does. And I wish I could turn back time and make everything alright. Everything.

))))): I don't know what to say~ I don't know what to do.

I had a bad dream. I still remember it. Wait, we don't remember dreams. Aren't those called...visions? It rained last night.

I'm screwed.

History has been made. I joined debate. Gaaah I'm so scared T.T I dont like talking to seniors in real life ): or even talking for that matter )): Eee seriously some body join with meeee >< Ah well someday I wont regret this (: Yay lv91 :D Heheh I want my scarlion helm!! >< Hoblin king pq was fun :D urghh I really need to get the screenshot to work ): Yawn. Goodnight world.

Ps. I got Angry Birds in my phoneee! :P :D xD

Urghh seems like you cant live without me. Horrible.

Wtf. I just realised that the new BannedStory is ONLINE. Which means no downloadable version and now it requires internet to use!! )': There goes all my inspiration to do an MMV -.- Wells, at least Windows Movie Maker isn't online >.>

Arghh I'm so boreed. My brain is decaying. Seriously, I should study -.-

Damnnn. Suddenly just dao me O: Ever since the...somewhere below >< I WANT MY EXCURSION T.T Eee so much for leveling once a day ): I'm stuck at lv90 D: Okay, not stuck. But difficult to level!! Like, for someone like me, it takes 1.5hours to level up )): Gawd. I got so many maple equip but no MAPLE PYROPE SCANDA!! -__- Gaa I NEED it ): Rawr! Somebody should teach me merchanting >< Especially the scrolling part -.- Like, I have a scrolled until dunnowhat Cape of Warmness. IT HAS EQUIP ENHANCEMENT SCROLL DAMMIT. And that thing is worth dunno how much... ):

Urghh I get pressured easily ):

Cause you're short, fat and ugly.

Rawr! I am such a lazy pig :X CHIONG MAPLEEE.

PitchDarkX - lv88 Night Walker
xPitchD4rk - lv55 Evan
PitchD4rk - lv52 Dual Blade
xxPitchDark - lv51 Wild Hunter
iPitchDark - lv45 Battle Mage
xPitchDark - lv41 Wind Breaker
PitchD4rkX - lv37 Aran

Uhh dont care about my quitted Hunter :X XhappyarrowX - lv51 Hunter
I don't understand WHY CANT I MAKE AN IGN CALLED PitchDark?! Its not as if anybody stole it right? ):
And WHY ARE THE ARAN QUESTS BUGGED?! Now I cant train Aran -.-
Its not like I like to play Dual Blade, its just that I got it at lv50 already (Y) >.>
And yes, I have 8 characters, got a problem with that? -.-

<3 Aquila

Who are you now?
Are you still the same or did you change somehow?
What do you do?
At this very moment when I think of you
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me huh
Instead of moving on
I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it
You don't even know that


I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

I wish I could find you
Just like you found me, then I
Would never let you go

Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you

But still no word from you.

Tell me again was it love at first sight,
When I walked by and you caught my eye,
Didn't you know love could shine this bright,
Well smile because you're the deer in the headlights.

<3 Owl City :D
This song is leaked! O:

I guess I'm just a sucker for love :D

Idcidcidc. Life is so hardddd.

I AM FINISHING MY HOMEWORKKKKK! :D Jk, still got 1/6 left -.- Geez, half the holidays are goneee ):

Stupid stomach. Eat or don't eat, still pain -__-

Hehe :3

Today is a happy day :D Played maple with seniors -.-" rawr stupid laggg T.T but still memorable O:

Hehe today was fun and memorable <3 rawr so tireddd T.T I SWEAR I SHALL FINISH MY HOMEWORK BY SUNDAYYYY! >< :X

Hmmmmmmm. Should I join debateeee? >< Haiz, time to put the dunnowhat problem solving skills I learnt during PD last year to use. -__-

Shooting!
Pros: SOME nice seniors, I got gun and suit and locker :D, my dream cca ><, flexible training, slack cca
Cons: SUPER FCKING BIASED, ALWAYS PAY AND PAY MONEY DUNNO GO WHERE -.-, I didnt get my family tee I paid for ;(, not bonded, got unfavourable ppl, difficult to fit in

Floorball!
Pros: Pri sch cca :D, might get to see someone :D, can keep fit -__-
Cons: run alot, saturday training, dunno the seniors, might get to see someone -__-

Drama!
Pros: Get to act :D, nice cca jacket ><, quite easy to fit in
Cons: must memorize lines, long hours?, mentally tiring

Debate!
Pros: MAPLERS AND MH-ERS :D, improve my studies O:, nice seniors :D (justin is nice?! :X more like scary ><), get to learn sth useful in life
Cons: NOBODY WANNA JOIN WITH ME ;(, "no female juniors" :X

Hmmmmmm.

Stupid shooting. My FINGERS have damn big bruises )): rawr at least now i got suit and a locker :D i shall not quit so soon (: BUT I DONT HAVE MY FAMILY TEE WHICH I PAID FOR WTFFFFFFFF.

And we had to sort out a hellotta cards for range cleanup ): Btw, i woke up earlier on Thur than on Wed, took the earlier train on Thur, and ended up running for the exact same bus on both days :X

Hehe i like sarah :3 she reads my blog :D and she lent me a book cause today shooting was damn slack xD its called...Crave (#1)!! Ahahaha its sooo interesting i get so preoccupied that i forget that i still have shooting >.> heheh. Andand there are no free ebooks for it -.- reviews got lah.

Justin ask me join debate hahaha. I'll be totally screwed xD and those public speaking workshops really didnt work :X ohwells i wanna join floorball but they have saturday trainings )):

Wells anyway, I love holidays. Sometimes its a good thing to forget about school :D

Yesterday was a million stabs through my heart </3
Today I played maple with Justin hahaha. Sorta. He buffed me :D Yay lvl85 (': 10 levels in a week AFTER SO LOOOOONG! :D This is uber cute!! :D
















 This looks niceeee :D :O













Rawr = I love you in dinosaur <3

I'm the one who makes you laugh, when you know you're 'bout to cry.
I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams,
Think I know where you belong,
Think I know its with me.

I wish you were here. I wish you actually cared. I wish you knew. I wish you read all this.

Eww. Eww. Dear fringe, please grow faster. Thank you. From your loving owner <3

Same. Same. Same. Its all so similar. Homogeneous. Whatever. Name. Hair. Eyes. Smile.

Whyyy. Why am I so short-tempered ): I'm sorry )):

And yet, just knowing that you know how I feel, how much it hurts me, would make me better already. Where are you?

Smile for me </3

Waa i went USS :D :X bwahaha and bought the laptop bag that daniel has O: blahblah maple is so fucking laggy. Btw, when I'm angry, I tend to be vulgar. Usually silently anyway. I died cause of lag -.- And I relogged like a billiontrilliongazillion times. I would like to visit sally's house :D :D

I miss primary school. Life was so much more easy. Life was much much easier. Whatever. I got like 20+ trophies and medals from primary school and none from njc wtf?! Either nj is so damn poor or I have grown so damn stupid. Somehow I'm guessing its the latter -.- Wells! Nobody in nj can beat 281 (:<

I miss prps. I rmb Mr Long is it? Haha p4 science teacher. I dunno why I rmb him maybe cause he was a trainee? (: a good one. I like prps teachers. Theyre so...smart. Except for ONE OR TWO I wont mention -.- hey, nobody said I couldnt hold grudges against primary school teachers right? :P

ahh I rmb p6 ms mak made us wrap our tables in anything we liked :D mine was blue and had lots of cute fishes I cut out from a wrapping paper hehh >< and during psle we had to remove it ): ohwell and I vandalised my table with maplestory during psle!! :D ahaha and after psle we played so much crap like Duel Masters and Pokemon (: Yay I rmb Elsen and Faruq giving me a heckload of cards (': and Elsen gave me the big big Pokedex just cause Ian spilt correction fluid on it :/ so yeahh I still keep it (: and he bought another :X and I rmb playing private server with Faruq (: and he lent me his real maplestory account long time ago (':

ahh I miss those times. Jenny's Cafe, Siti Muslim Food, Mdm Something Cooked Food, Aw Cold Drinks, Tan's Fruits and Deserts. AND EVERYTHING WAS DAMN CHEAP. Chicken rice - 60¢, Drink - 30¢, Ice Kachang - 50¢. And I thought things were expensive back then :/ I MISS PRPS MORE THAN I'LL EVER MISS NJ. PRPS IS SO DAMN RICH FOR A PRIMART SCHOOL GOT AIRCON HALL AND SYNTHETIC FIELD. I rmb the crap intrest elective programme at the end of each year >< i got social etiquitte and grooming! And public speaking (its not working btw)! And archery for two years (': I wanted fencing too :/ Ah I rmb entrpreneur day Mr Shahizan kept buying brownies from my stall (: And he teases me about it until I graduated (': FLOORBALL IS LOVEEEEE~

Ohyeah. Did i say? Its juneeeeee!
1. Homework -.-
2. 1 year anniversary of my blog~ ._.
3. PLAY MAPLEEEEEE AHAHAHHAHAHHA YEAHHHH
4. 6A reunion WHEEEEEEEEE~!

Wahahahaha I'm high in the middle of the night bfowbxhlwnuaprnd! Happly belated birthday ethan (: ahahaha hope you grow fat! XD

Hmm. Somehow I think I used this title before... :/ Ohwell.

Seems like I was wrong. Sorreh.

The best experiences are not learnt from a teacher or in a school, but from life itself.

Let me tell you a story. Once, there lived a child. He had a set of painting kit (paint and paintbrushes etc). One day, his teacher told him to paint a picture as nice as he possibly could. When he got home, he quicky started painting. He painted everyday, picture after picture, trying to paint a perfect picture. One day, his black paint suddenly smudged. It ruined the almost perfect painting. Angry, he threw the black paint away. From that day on, he painted all his artworks without the colour black. And he saw his art grade getting from good to bad, to worse. The end.

Moral of the story: You can throw something away, but you'll be missing out on alot of things. Sometimes, the old things are always the best. No matter how many replacements you get.

And that is why I never throw. I keep everything. Faith, promises, secrets, and the broken pieces of my heart.

Im staring at perfection.
Take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are.

Lols im looking at a mirror :D jkjk im not bhb -.-

?&~,"@.%<(|! Stupid maple just HAD to make the server check at 11.30pm -.- just when i was about to train my wildhunterrrrrr! Bleh wadeva still got tmr. I think I'm finally serious about maple. Especially my nightwalker :/ ytd i leveled twice and today i leveled once and i made 1mil by hunting :D I'm so proud of myself (': PLAY AQUILA FEEL FREE TO ADD ME IMMA CASHY NOOB -.- XhappyarrowX - Hunter lv51 (quitted) PitchDarkX - Night Walker lv76 :D (main - active) xPitchDark - Wind Breaker lv37 (active) PitchD4rkX - Aran lv37 (active) xPitchD4rk - Evan lv52 (active) iPitchDark - Battle Mage lv32 (active) xxPitchDark - Wild Hunter lv27 (active) There. (': btw I'm giving away free maplestory koc stickers >< Let me tell you a secret. I make money at the Eidelstien dunnowhat place by killing stuff two levels higher than me :D near the guard robot and racoco area there (lv75+) :D also, they have goooood drops :D (which i fund my other characters :/) and since I'm bad at merchanting, i just sell everything to shop )): like lv70-80 eq! >< Somebody help meeeee ): BTW, SELLING LUCKY SHIELD SCROLL 60% (LUK+2) OFFER ME :X

Ah, I can go on rambling about maple forever. :/ STUPID MAPLE STOP BEING SO LAGGY I WANNA CHIONG!! If I level up every day then by the end of the holidays I'll be lv100+... OOO: