I feel like burrying my head in sand :/ like an ostrich :X

Stay as long as you like.

This shall be the last: I'm sorry for being the first girl to fall for you.

The feeling of guilt and uneasiness is settling into my heart. What have I done?

You're the last thing I think of before I fall asleep, you're the one I see in my dreams, you're the one who was there when I opened my eyes.

And I don't know why I'm so messed up to fall for you. Knowing that I'm not your kind and you're looking for someone else. Though it seems that my life had been empty and meaningless all along. I still try, and I'll be waiting right here for you.

Aah was supposed to update on fri but no time ): so yeah.

Fridayy, nothing much. Shao almost forgot that I was supposed to pass him the present... Urghh I don't like her ):< so biased. So I kena pin up hair everybody else no need -.- Lucky photo taking I never pin. So ugly. LA was ppl presenting speeches. On fate and free will ._. Personally, I feel that there's no free will. Its all fated. Religion also say so :/ I mean like, God already predicted that I'll be writing this, and if I change my mind, its fated that I would change my mind too. So yeah, fate. And I signed up for the power and corruption one... Well at least its easier cause not much controversy right? NO, WRONG. I'm presenting with KIRAN and RAY. And they're persuassiveness is like... And there's my most dreaded QnA part ._. Miss Khoo gave me a pin to pin up my fringe :3 those cheapo pins. But I like D: Yknow, I think she's nice >< to me anyway. Sorry, it was so small I lost it again ): Its not fair why do I alwats get caught!! -.- Fine, I shall be a nerdy JH1. Hmph.

Shit Monday got IH essay. Is SEA homogeneous -.- Aah crapcrapcrap. Panic. Damn stressed. So much work, so little time...

There's still debate the article thing Shao asked to do and I don't know how!!

Anw, I was tired. So tired. I slept for half of IS. Woke up, copy stuff to paper. Yixuan, who sits beside me, was copying and being very attentive during the whole lesson. Then she got tired and decided to sleep. Teacher saw, ask her wake up wash face. HAHAH MY PRO-NESS! I always wake up at the right time :3

After three long and boring periods of IS (which I didn't understand cause I was sleeping, it was about relative masses and 1/12 of a Carbon12 atom thing I think), school ended! :D so I slept in class till 330pm and went down for Shooting CAFE~ All I did was help take pallets and see the JH1s shoot and correct them, whatever. And talk to Wanhui (Terra OG) :D I know another two JH1s now, Sherlyn and Christopher. I think. I was just looking at them shoot anw -.- aah I miss Shooting :X

Yeah so I left at 430pm and went back to class~ (it was getting awkward anyway) Then I went up to TA34 and waited for Justin... Hahah afternoon PE :3 Then we played Duel Masters (class beside was LSS) for awhile, like 15-20mins. (random ppl walked by) Then the locking door uncle came and wanted to lock the door. And he asked, "Doing project ah?" and we said yes :3 I was laughing like crap.

The end of my short-lived happiness. Jkjk, Friday was a happy day :D Hmm, I think I know how to beat ZQ's deck(s)... :3

Fuck. Second yellow slip of the year. By LSS again -.- Damn pissed lah. Backstabber. She used to be my friend! Seriously! Everytime boarding I talk to her -.- So the whole of today I had the I-wanna-kill-someone face :@ Angry lah.

After school went out with Benedict, Justin and Shao Yuan againn~ To Borders again :P To spend our $300 (which we didn't finish) But we spent around $280. Epic. Never spent so much in my life :/ It was fun :D Anyway, I brought home Ms Lim Liyan's "present" to wrap~ We ate at Burger King :D I like fast food :D Fattening :D

Zzz. I think I got food poisoning from school food again -.- Again you know! Urghh, that's it, I'm gonna eat at Raintree Cafe from now on! ):<

Oh, the longer that I wait
The more that I’m afraid
That someone’s gonna fool your heart and take you away
Cause I, I finally realized,
That I can’t get you off my mind

:/

You were my conscience,
So solid, now you're like water,
And we started drowning,
Not like we'd sink any farther.

But I let my heart go,
It's somewhere down at the bottom,
But I'll get a new one,
And come back for the hope that you've stolen.

Ohno. My knowledge about chemistry is the size of an atom D:

No, I'm not okay. I'm upsettttt! ): Are you implying something?

Its not that I wish to be short, its that I wish everyone else was taller :/

Call me a traitor,
I'm just collecting your victims.

Stop there and let me correct it,
I wanna live a life from a new perspective.
You come along because I love your face,
And I'll admire your expensive taste.

And who cares divine intervention,
I wanna be praised from a new perspective.
But leaving now would be a good idea,
So catch me up I'm getting out of here.

Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?

Oh today sucked :/ Swimming, IS, LA and Conversational -.- but well, its the same as always.

Then after school I went to watch ppl play com -.-

Some ppl just can't keep their mouths shut.

Then after that was debate. One hour prep. I saw stalker guy. His name is Bharat I think. Sorry, I call him stalker guy cause he looks so...unique. I keep seeing him everywhere SINCE LAST YEAR!! -.-

Yah, I don't feel happy now. Let my unhappiness in this blog post be transferred to you. And my unhappiness is cause of me okay. I'm not blaming anyone.

And I want you to know how I feel. What its like for you to treat me like that.

Urghh. I give up trying to look "friendly and approachable". How can my normal look look scary -.- You haven't seen me glare. If looks could kill.

I shouldn't potray myself as being so weak.

Hahah. Okay, two hours later, I'm happy again~~ Not happy lah, but well, normal. My moody emo self. At least not depressed :D I think I'm growing old. Just now comb hair a crapload of hair fell )': Sorry, I moodswing again ._. Gawd, it sucks.

Hi, would appreciate if you understand that the only reason I'm nice to you is because if I'm not, you'll think that I'm a rude stuck-up bitch. Which obviously, in my humble opinion, I'm not. So, since I can't avoid you and you keep sticking like gluee, I'll be nice to you since you're (currently) nice to me. To clear this misconception and to draw the line. Thankyou (:

Gosh. Girls have so many problems.

Warning: This post has been made to be sensible in more than one way. Please do not think that I'm a crazy despo lovesick person.

I'm nothin' to you.

950am - I wake up from my deep slumber (but really, it was only just a dream~) Look at phone, reply sms, fall asleep.
10am (and everything after that) - Oh I'm not needed. Okay, I shall sleep again. Or rather, wait. Wait for something which probably isn't worth my time. Wait for something which probably won't make me feel any better.

Why? Have I reached the point of desperation?

Have you ever felt your heart was breaking?
Looking down the road you should be taking~

I'm messed up. My feelings are messed up. My heart is messed up. I think cause it was glued together wrongly after it broke. Well, its breaking again anyway. Feels like throwing glass at the wall, and picking the broken pieces and throwing it again. Aah I'm beyond repair now.

(Fallacy: False Analogy. The argument is not true because the writer compares the human heart and glass to be the same, sharing same properties, when in fact, they are not the same. Even if both were the same, it is possible to go for heart surgery and repair the damage. SHUT UP I'M DEPRESSED NOW STOP BEING SUCH A SMART ALEC)

Why? Why you gotta be so mean?

Eee. That's it. I'm not writing interesting stuff on my blog anymore ): Ruining my reputation and people's impression of me. Its the same thing actually. Whatever.

Okay, I shall be lame and talk about boring stuff.

Its been a long time since I actually listen to up-to-date music. Aah used to be so "in" last time... Hmm. I think the Demi Lovato song Skyscraper is nice. Nice lyrics, I mean. Her voice kills my ears :/

There's so many tests next week. Screw this.

Three words. Yesterday was weird.

That's it. I give up.

Today was normal. For once.

Bleh, so I reached school at 815am. I don't understand why I'm always late on Thursdays -.-

First lesson: Malay. Three periods. We had the super dumb and lame debate thing. Motion: MTV is bad. Something like that lah. Opposition~! Hehe I won best speaker lololol. And that's thanks to my prior debating skills :P I won cause I had a case setup (Y) So yeahh, I hate Malay. I stumbled over the simplest words and in 4mins, I think I managed to read 4-5 paragraphs? Out of...nvm. We all know how suckish my Malay is -.- Who won? It was a tie. Seriously, a tie?!

So then it was Maths. Had popcorn (pop quiz on a yellow paper -.-) I hope I did well D: My Maths sucks too. I think I suck at all subjects ): Mrs Sia caught me smsing in class >.>

Then it was lunch. Nothing interesting. Oh, I drank Oreo Chocolate Ice Blended with Pearl. Anddd my cough got worse -.- see lah so stubborn never follow advice ._.

Then it was LA. It was boring. We did the Thinking Read thing again. Miss Wang scolded us again. Got homework again.

After school~ Had moodswing, sorry >< urghh. So yeahh 230pm to 430pm was Gardening for Character -.- lololol. We planted seeds. And we took a really long time. Well, all I did was stand there, step on pole sometimes, be Amanda's support, put seeds and throw rubbish -.- J and Kern were spying from upstairs ): It was a hot day.

J: Turn left look up
Me: *does that, waves at someone*
Me: Who was that ._.
J: Thats your favourite suspicious senior

HAHAHA. Sorry, I can't rmb faces >< Hi kern :D

After that, went back to school and pass J dm cards. And pass Kang the Subway Cookies thingy. Hahaha "(cause this CIP is killing us)". Ps. Me is not scary (:

(I smiled too much today. Suspicious.)

After around 20mins, I said bye to J and went home in 852~ and then change to 39 and slept all the way till Pasir Ris. Woke up, it was raining heavily. Lazy to type anymore, the end.

Now, the question is, to cut or not to cut? My hair I mean. Its always at this time when my parents and teachers start complaining -.- Just the time when I thought that my hair is worth keeping -.-

Beauty is not how much attention you get from people, the amount of plastic surgery, contacts/lasik, perm/rebond, etcetc. Beauty comes naturally. Its how your smile can brighten up someone's day. Its about keeping your body clean and pure, the way God gave it to you. True beauty is natural beauty.

And I don't wanna steal you from her :/ cause I know what's it like. What's it like when someone refuses to give up what's not theirs. And so, I shall let go. Away my feelings for you shall flow. You will never know.

And yet, there's only one person who would always say goodnight to me - even if I have fallen asleep.

I keep thinking tmr is Friday -.- Cause I came back late today (like Thursday). I'm friggin tired. Spire was boring. We did nothin'. Tmr gonna bring laptop and chiong bid for our topic~ Shooting meeting was damn long and boring. Art was boring. I was too tired to even bother to draw my final piece. Tk was the worst. Got fallacy test I barely studied. Forgot how to structure reasoning ): So I crapped alot of not true even ifs ):

I just realised that actually, my elaboration stuff are good. In written. Haizz.

Sleepy.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Waa! I chiong art hw from 1030pm to 1230am ._. Me is soo sleepy now -.- But actually quite nice :D Hehe Daniel copy abit O: Sokay (:

Eeh suddenly my happiness depends on you D:

Lolol I went shooting ytd. Grouping not bad, after 3 weeks of not shooting~ I used a random gun. Cos I know my gun can't live fire. Wadeva.

Today is gonna be real busy.

Sadded. Nevermind me.

Okay, so I was supposed to post this ytd but I was too lazy and tired ._. Still tired. But anw, I can swim!! :D and the new Sports and Recreation Hub thingy in Pasir Ris just opened ytd! And the swimming entry is cheap!! Adult - $1.50, Children - 80¢~ Hehe. Ohya. And at the Mock Parliament thing I was damn scared. Cos first time use mic then idk how loud to speak D: Then I thought I spoke too fast so I spoke slower and slower after each paragraph ._. Then I thought the pause after each paragraph was too short :/ And my mouth and lips were frighin dry!! ><

Me is sad. Me is 843178032157 times sadder in real life ):

I hate it. I hate looking into people's thoughts. Its their privacy :/

Eee. I'm sorry. Don't be guilty when you make your choice. I don't deserve you anyway. Though I wish. Haizz. There's a reason for everything. There's a reason why I asked you that ytd.

Sadded ):

Hehe. Me is happy :D Though tmr is swimming again >< Ohya. Last night I was so pissed at something I (attempted) to slam the door and it hit my foot. My toe ): HURTS LIKE CRAP LAH. Urghh. Its purple now ): And swollen.

 I think I l... Aah dammit. Cannotcannotcannot >< Why do I always deny? Sobs. My heart is crazy. This is so embarrassing! D: Its so obvious!! Cmon, thinkthinkthink what to doooo T.T

I.
Like.
AAARGH DAMMIT CAN'T SAY IT.

If you know, I am so screwed for life. But I think you do. Paiseh D:

Suddenly I'm so concerned about you. Suddenly everything you do affects me. Baby please don't go.

OMG. I spent 1.5hr changing my blogskin (for the fourth time) D: It was a rush so I didn't really choose properly -.- But not bad luhh.

Hehe ytd was the Mock Parliament thingy. We won seconddd :D got $300 Boarder's gift card~ But anw, it was scary ): While reading the speech, I screwed up the last paragraph cause I heard the bell then was chionging >< And I was like "ohshitohshit" the judge yawned :X Zzz, I'm too boring -.- At least we won something :D Me is happy :D

How the hell could you stop me?
Why in the world would you try?
I go hard forever,
That's just how I'm designed,
That's just how I was built
See the look in my eyes?
You take all of this from me,
And I'm still gonna survive.

Yeah, your efforts to bring me down will all be in vainnn! RGHAGAHAGAH.

Sometimes you can be so sweet >< Its that feeling when your stomach twists and your heart starts to pound and you find yourself blushing. Aah so embarrassing D: I was so scared today :/ I wonder what happened... Nevertheless, I am veryvery grateful(: Thankyou(: I keep forgetting today is Friday. Which means tmr is Saturday ): /: D: O: X: Aah moodswing. I think I'm crazy. Ytd was fun(ny) :D bleh. Fun and funny? Hehe thanks Dict, J and Shao :D (purposely put in alphabetical order~) Aah yahoo news is hilarioussss ><!

I don't understand, but I'll just do as you say. Sighh, me is so sad. What am I to you?

Seems like I don't know you anymore. Maybe I never did know you.

Somehow, the bad always seems to block out the good everyday. I feel like crying.

Grr. Me is angry. I hate vs boys. Notice I use the word "boys" instead of "guys". And I always use "guys". Boys are so immature. Stupidstupidstupid. I'm angry. Very angry. I gave you so much attention you know. Why the hell are you doing this to me? Trying to be so ego like "Oh you know this girl right, she's so blahblah (negative connotation words)." You think I'm rude? Well look at the way your friends treat me. You know I'm nice. I put smilies practically after every sentence. Its just that ya'll take me for granted. And seriously, you're not that fantastic either. You forgot how weak you were last time. You forgot that you were the desperate one. And now you think you're so smart? You think I'm the easy-to-get kind? I'm not the despo-little-girl you knew before. People like you never deserve my "love". You think every girl is gonna fall for you? Going around telling people things. Backstabber. Let your life be in ruins. Well, guess what. I'm over you. I don't care about you. I don't harbour any feelings for you. Its not that I'm mean, its that you've gone overboard.

To be loved or hated by someone is better than being forgotten by someone.

And let there be poison on my tongue everytime I say your name. And I'm not gonna be nice and say "Goodluck to you." No, not even that. I hope your future will be 2834109901 times worse than mine. Puppy love, hah.

I'm nice to people who are nice to me. You were, I was. You aren't, I'm not.

Hahaha today was Career and Scholarships Fair at school~ Thinking back, I should have asked more questions -.- Gah, this year the freebies no fullscap from DSTA Scholarship ): Lol, got sweets from AirForce~ And adult ez-link from LTA :D

I am such a lazy person D: Tiredddd. So tired today. Swimming has its effects till today ._. Jiayou me, halfway through the weekday! :D

Eee. I wish it was true. As the days go by, I realise... And I'm tangled up in you.

Warning: This post contains (some) statements which may have more than one meaning. If you know it, well done :D

Countdown: 4 more days. So fast D:

Damn tired today. Longest attention span = 2hours. Anything more = fall asleep.

Why do I always act soo weird and different from usual... ><

I love Justin Bieber <3

Gah, need more experience.

I sense something coming.

Backyard of butterflies surrounded me,
I fell in love with you, like bees to honey <3

And in my eyes you are perfect (:

You don't have to be popular to be loved by someone.

Aah, I tend to blush alot nowadays :/ bad girl.

Today, swimming was surprisingly okay :D Coach Steven is nice :D I leart how to swim LOL. The bathing part was troublesome. Wait long queue -.- Why must NJ have so many girls -.- Oh and the shower cubicle the water abit hard to operate ._. Then we had free transport to school and reached at 10am.

So it was recess then contact. On GPA. Ah sad, 202 not smartest class anymore D: and compared to the current JH3s and JH1s, my batch is the stupidest O:

Lol so then it was LA. I thought it was okay. Being first to recite isn't thaat bad. Besides not knowing what to do, you get to set the benchmark (:< which I don't think was that high :/ And I'm so glad I got Kiran to introduce me :D what a wonderful opening! :D sadly, not counted in marks, obviously.

Oh and before LA was NingHT's class, which was kinda bad? Suddenly every teacher is scolding us D:

Lunch then Conversational Chinese ._. I was half asleep anyway.

Happy birthday to Garry Mag and Faruq (:

Its better to be loved by someone than to love someone.

Aaaaah. PANICPANICPANIC. Like seriously!

Things to do:
- Malay book review
- Malay mindmap (idk on what ._.)
- Malay composition on Why teenagers should dress/behave properly?
- Malay newspaper article review (idk how to translate ._.)
- Malay name for LTA and the address
- LA introduction for Kiran to say
- Debate scholarship policy change (1 point, 1 rebuttal)
- Debate 3 points each for prop and opp THW legalise abortion

Oh Malay is such a pain in the ass. Mostly because I left all my June holiday homework undone up till now ._. Goodluck to me D:

AND THERE'S JSODNVXV SWIMMING ON MONDAY ._.

I watched Transformers 3 with Khairul ytd :D

Today during PD (Personal Development) we learnt how to use all our senses to gather data. Then Miss Khoo asked Kiran to read a passage. (for "visualisation" purposes) It goes something like this.

How to peel an orange. Now, follow me as I guide you through how to peel an orange. Feel the surface of the orange. How it is so delicious and blahblah. Stick your fingers at the end. Blahblah start peeling it. Feel the wet and sticky juice come out blahblah.

HAHAHAHAHA. Rofl. I never knew the class was so sick. Sadly, Miss Khoo stopped Kiran from reading. And she said we were either too mature or too immature. Hahahahahahaha so funneh.

Dedicated to all the sick people out there :D

Why am I always the one at a loss? Why am I always the one feeling guilty? I hope today will be a good day :/ started off quite good though :D woke up (damn sleepy) went to bathe and the water was WARM :D finally got conditioner my hair is saved! :D so yeahh took a 74 which was not doubledeck :D meaning, early so got seat and not freezing cold :D

And I'm not rich. I just happen to have things and opportunities you don't.

Finally, you decide to accept your fate.

Ohmyy. I just realised that for my recital on Monday, Kiran is supposed to intro me O: cos I'm first and he's last. Aaah better write my intro soon ._. PANICPANICPANIC.

I believe I have failed. You're...different. I never knew such things. Haizz so this means I probably will never... :/ ohwell. Things (can) change. Today is a good day. Let there be good karma ._.

Or maybe. You and me, unfulfilled desires.

Ohya. Forgot to say, my 203 post now~ :D Finally tmr is FRIDAYYYYYY! :D aah I need a break. Ate panadol in school :/ I feel so sick ): Literally. Remind me, waking up at 6.30am and leaving house at 7am is just not a good idea ._. Reached school at 8.36am D: and didn't have time to tie my hair -.- and lost my clip ): eee. Arabic exam is so damn screwed. I think I might just quit if I fail that paper D: Just passed my oral which I never knew existed ): But overall, I can pass. Just pass. Haiz.

I think that life's so interesting now. Funny how things are so unexpected. I wonder. Have things changed?

You should have known that by now. I'm sorry.

If I walk, would you run?
If I stop, would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?

I'm serious. You ought to know its you.

Have you no shame? And I feel fine, unlike you. Wanna know why? Cause I never bothered thinking about you and your weird weird problems, which somehow involves me -.- And you don't believe me? Where do you think I get all the information I know? -.- Gosh, you don't even have faith in your own religion? I hope you will realise.

Yay. I hope mah hair will grow faster ._. I'm very idecisive about my hair :/

Bleh. Anyway, I've always wondered, if I make it so obvious that I know what you think, doesn't that make you feel insercure? That I can read your thoughts? :D hahaha, at least you're some entertainment to me -.-

hdjcowva. We just had art. I hate art. But Miss Amy is nice. I think. She looks nice O.o bleh. I'm overloaded with work ): LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND~

Gaaah. JUSTIN THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT D: I'm
gonna go crazy with the www.losethegame.com :@

Aiyo. I just can't stop thinking of you ): Me is so screwed ): Why can't I stop thinking of you? GAAH. Sobsob. Me is soo saad. Goodbye. I shall be depressed and listen to depressing songs ):

I don't wanna say this but I think I'm falling for you.
Cause I just can't stop thinking about you.
And yet, I know you don't feel the same way too.
I'm confused. Please don't tell me that you're torn between two.

Dear God, I was terribly lost,
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun when dark.
Dear God, You're the only North Star,
I would follow this far.

Owl City is Adam Young. Adam Young is Christian. So what. :/

OI EVERYBODY WHO READS MY BLOG BETTER FALL IN LOVE WILL OWL CITY AND HIS NEW ALBUM <3 I WILL LEND YOU FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I think I'm anorexic D: Guhh. That's cause I feel so damn fat compared to everyone else older than me :/ But quite okay lahh. 42kg >.>
I think I'm racist. I don't like Malays :/ To a certain extent. Thank God I look like a Chinese :D

Today was a surprisingly good day :D I took the same bus as Ms Dyer!! :D Haha, I feel like a stalker. I think she lives in some condo near Geylang? That's where she alighted anw :/ lucky she didn't see me :D Ahahaha! So happy! She said I was pretty! (LOL) During IH. HAHAHAHA. For the first time, I decided to pay attention during her lesson :D

I slept in NingHT's chem class >< Haiz, I'm even more screwed than before :/

Call me a flirt. That's the way I talk/sms everyone. Okay, not everyone, but those who deserve my kindness :D

Eee. Don't believe majority of what I said ytd (?) I WAS SO MESSED UP >__<

But still my heart stops without you
There's something about you
That makes me feel alive.

Phew. Close shave. I don't like acting like I don't care. Eeeyo. Screw this.

It always boils down to this. I don't wanna go wrong again.
#1 - Tell the guy, he leaves and ignores you and poof goes your friendship.
#2 - Don't tell the guy, my heart remains unsettled. But at least our friendship remains.

Logically, go for #2. More gain than loss. I don't know. I'm so messed up. Tell me what I wanna hear D:

Everybody takes me for granted. And yet, the truth is, you never see the flaws of somebody until you start hating them. Its the truth! But that's not the point. The point is, everybody takes me for granted. I'm nice to those who are nice to me. And yet, along the way, my damned feelings change. And that's where everything changes. I have an impression that people like nice people. That's why I'm nice. I mean like, I like nice people too. But my definition of nice is...different.

I don't understand girls. Why can't they just go for a simple mindset? You're nice to me, I'm nice to you. There. Haizz. Maybe guys have guy problems too. But I don't know. I'm not a guy. But they seem so carefree. I like. But seriously, who doesn't like friends who accepts you for who you are? And yet, I never find these qualities in girls. And that's why, I prefer guys over girls. Call me sexist. Older people are more matured and don't fight over stupid things. Call me ageist, whatever. But that's my opinion. And that's how I choose friends. And my inspirations.

I don't like to fool myself. Everytime I write a poem I think of someone so badly that my heart breaks. And I cry. I put alot of emotion into writing poems. But for you, its not enough. Needs more love. I will crush on you. I will like you. I will love you. Yet, you're my only inspiration left. I will make my heart cry for you. May better poems emerge. Ps. Feel honoured that you're my inspiration. I love my inspirations. I have feelings for them. And most of all, my poems are dedicated to them (: Feel it deep within. One of the best:

COPYRIGHT ALL RIGHTS RESERVED I WILL SUE YOU.

Written in the Sand. (edited version) Inspired by: The preson who broke my heart #2 ):

Oh what a fool I have been,
The things in front of me I should have seen.
You said I'd never be forsaken,
But now, I'm alone. I'm heartbroken.

I should have known all along,
It wasn't me that your feelings were strong.
I really should have known better,
I would end up crying later.

I should have never loved you from the start,
I should have never given you my heart.
I thought you were the one, The One for me,
I was wrong, only now I see.

Ignore me, leave me, forget me,
Maybe this is what I'm made to be.
Not yours, never yours,
I'm just this girl, one of the Lost.

Maybe this is where our friendship will end,
I can no longer hide nor pretend.
My mistakes, I can never ammend,
I guess my name was just written in the sand.

You'll never understand how I feel,
Its like your heart I wanna steal.
You'll never know what you mean to me,
Its like my love you cannot see.
You'll never feel the way I do,
Cause you don't see in me what I see in you.

To try so hard for your love,
Is to fall from up above.
To see that smile of yours,
Is to win a hundred wars.
To win your heart and trust,
Is to be steel and never rust.

And I don't want my tears to fall like they did before,
I don't wanna glue back the pictures that I tore,
Cause inside I feel so insecure,
So raw and empty,
Vulnerable and lonely.
Would you take this pain away?

Inspired by: your-name-here (:
Sucky poem #2 Copyright: All Rights Reserved :@

Do you know what's it like to be loved by someone?
Would you miss the feeling of freedom when you can't run?
What do you think of when you look into the sky?
If I were an angel I'll take your hand, spread my wings and fly.

What would you do if I said that I loved you?
Would you smile and say that I'm your dream come true?
And I'd give up everything just to be with you,
Embrace me like you always do.

And I can't describe that feeling when our eyes meet,
Why is love so bittersweet?

Inspired by: your-name-here (:

Sucky poem #1. Copyright, All Rights Reserved :@

Hehe :3 I love Owl City <3 Seriously, its one of those FEW artists which don't sing about love and sex and what crap. Not that I'm so innocent and clean anywayy~ :D But still, aaah All Things Bright and Beautiful is waaaaaay better than Ocean Eyes! >< But its still Owl City so = FANTASTIC :D

Aiyo. Tmr got school ): I have no idea how to do LA. Okay, maybe I do but I'm just SOO LAZYYY. AND MY CHEM IS SO SFJIDOVMER HORRIBLE. I wished I listened in class last year ): 100% clueless now. Yuhh. I'm actually blogging during a holiday. A one-day holiday. Aaah stomachace. Whagsatdsyc. I don't know what to blog about already ): Yawn. I'm gonna take my mum's old iPod Shuffle. And before the new one came out, I thought it was already considered small ._. I want an iPhone so baaad. Okay I'm despo. I won't mind an iPhone4 white -.- Though its just a colour ): Well, at least by the end of this year should be reasonably cheap...

Haizz. I spend so much money. I have 7 albums D:
Owl City - Ocean Eyes
Owl City - All Things Bright and Beautiful
Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
3OH!3 - Streets of Gold
Justin Bieber - My Worlds The Collection
Justin Bieber - Never Say Never The Remixes

I succeeded writing two super suckish poems ): And edited some others. Thankyou inspiration for hitting me :D it wasn't hard enough though -.- I realise that although I write a considerably large number of poems, the nicest (by my veeery high standards) are like, only two. And they're written last year -.- Haizz. I wanna write poems like, when someone reads it they will be like, "Whoa." ): Later I go post poems -.- Guhh. So bored.


If the green left the grass on the other side
I would make like a tree and leave
But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?
Who knew the other side could be so green?

I'm losing control of myself. I'm sorry.
If I were to pluck on your heartstrings would you string on mine?
Why is it so hard for you to see?
I think I'm _______.
And I just can't stop thinking _________.

As much as I want it, I can't. Cause you ain't catching me if I fall for you. Me is sad ): Shattered - Trading Yesterday </3

Geez. I should read other blogs more often -.- Hahaha okay. I love my life :D yeah, its hard but I survive. And its not as if I'm complaining to you right? Its not as if you've been in my posts until now too -.- Lol, whatever. Think whatever you like, its not as if it will affect me. To you your life and to me mine. End of story. Nothing else will be related to you from now on.

Seriously. Girls are so hard to understand. Haizz.

I am so saaaad ): its not much of boredom anymore ): heck, resist the temptation. Its not the end of the world :D HURRY I WANNA WRITE POEMS! INSPIRATION HIT ME HAAAAARD :D Literally also can :D

You are full of hatred. Let me answer your question: Cause we're all special in our own ways. Cause the way I try and the way you try is different. Cause my personality is not like yours.

Be grateful for what you have. You have everyone in class. You think I can talk to everyone the way you do? Nope. (Actually I can, its just a matter of them listening but, whatever). Point is, be grateful. You don't have to go all out (literally) like me to find friends. Of couse, you can try to follow what I do, but that won't be who you are. So yeahh, put out that fire in you. Thanks.

Okay. Totally different me now to totally different person. Cause I'm angry!! :@ Why are you sooo...jealous? Greedy? Well guess what, whatever you wish for, it won't happen. Cause even though now its what you think it is, this won't last forever. Love conquers all. And THAT love, will come back. Ps. It was never gone. We are just taking a break. You'll understand, someday :D

There's more than meets the eye ;) And you've gotta understand, I hide things well. Things, including things which aren't visible.

Okay, I am not angry anymore. Cause, I forgive (:

Note: This post is not directed at you, as in you O.o Ahaha feel free to ask me if anything is unclear LOL :D

Haha let me tell you something (if its not already obvious). I love writing poems. Or at least used to :/ Oh, love, heartbreak, crush poems. Whatever. Haha, last year LA was awesome :D whole module on poems~~ Hmm. I don't remember. Was it lovesick mode or depression mode when I was best at writing poems? Haha, doesn't matter, I feel like writing again! :D be my inspiration! :D

Ahahaha! I am so happy :D I got Owl City and Linkin Park and Lady Antebellum albums~~ :D there goes my allowance >< Nevermind. Owl City is the best! :D

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE MY BLOG :D ITS SO INTERESTING YOU GET TO KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ME -.- well, actually, I don't care :D You don't know me. Nope, ever since last year. Haizz people forget, who was the first person to talk to me while walking to malay class? Nope, not you. Who was the one with funny, unexpected boarding partners last year? Hahaha. I'm nice. I'll forget (:

Stand tall like you've won some kind of war,
But really I've never seen someone so short.
Grow taller.

Doesn't it get worse everytime? I'm predicting something bombastic :D

Its funny how I can trust you so easily. How comforting. I feel funny. Weird kind of funny D:

I feel like pouring out everything ): But that'll be awkward so nvm :D nah, actually its cause "fear of being judged by others".

And I'm afraid, you'll end up like the others before. So I shall stop. For my own good. Wait for me :D

Something must happen soon. I love surprises :D

Urghh. This is torturous. I wanna eat -.-

And I just can't take it anymore~ Tell me something I don't know :D and let it be good >__< ITS FRIDAYYYY. Double post for today :D me is bored. No LA today and after this is lunch = 2hr break. I AM HUNGRYYYY. And let this be the good of the days to come. Lol what. I made that up :D Sheesh. Cannot >< I'm clinging on to what's not even there T.T

Wheee~ I survived the first week of school (': eww. Swimming next monday ._. Heheh. Anyway, I'm not interested you know?! Talk talk talk. Haha, you know, I don't feel inferior. Especially in comparison to you? Hahaha. I don't understand females. So funny. Oh how we all try so hard. Yeah, I try too hard. Sian. Stop flirting, stupid girl. I hope that statement made months ago isn't true. I even thought it was funny. Oh well. I must study more. More of everything -.- Surprisingly, thirdlang wasn't so bad >< I hope something happens soon :S