Why does it matter if I lie to you?
Sunday, May 1, 2016
10:37 PM
Really don't know if it's hormones (but since when do hormones act up DURING periods?) or just me being ultra emotional after reading fifty shades again (ya judge me) (but I don't even remember it being so emotional anyway) but my heart really hurts. Sure, it's been great getting back together but things just never really felt the same like it did before. Not that before was good; maybe it was bad and now is worse.
I don't know why I bother or try so hard to even do things sometimes - maybe I should give up, maybe there's no point. Which was something I convinced myself previously yet I'm back at this state of being indecisive.
I'm just so disgustingly needy I don't even know how I got to this state it's disgusting. Weren't you the one begging for my attention - not the other way around? I hate being needy. Maybe I don't need you like how you don't need me anyway. You DID leave before. How the heck am I supposed to make you stay? Make things worth it? Things don't work that way - you stay because you want to, not because I want you to.
Am I loved because I don't feel so. Am I needed or is all you need my physical makeup?
You feel so far away it's like I don't know you anymore but maybe I never did anyway. It hurts.
