Yayay CTs are overrr :-) sucks to fall sick before CTs really, what a waste of time and energy sigh. I could have done better I guess sigh. But yaa omg math was killer sigh there goes my chances for scholarship applications and early admittance etc etc sigh sigh.

So whatever I'll worry about that when school reopens :-( but for now yayay holidays I wanna studyyy and do wellll I really do. But boo first week of holidays are over :-(

SO ANYWAYS sian I got my hopes up. For what? For everything, really. I give up on socialising ermahgawd people are so difficult. I am so difficult. It's easier to break than to sustain anyways enough of my reciprocating!!! So disappointed but that's my own fault I won't do it again. What a mood killer I just ruined my mood for the whole holidays but that's okay who needs friends who needs to go out anyway. I shall just be a tortoise at home. They don't care anyway so why should I!!!

Aiya I miss having friends though why don't I have those kinda childhood 10-years-and-still-going-strong kinda friends? I don't even have a 5-years one come to think of it, even though same school for 6 years and all. Makes me think about how much do people really care like treasure my friendship or companionship or EXISTENCE??? Sometimes I put myself in others' shoes to feel how it's like to be friends with me and sigh. I don't know. I don't actually really get this whole concept of getting to know people and actually wanting to be their pillar of support for...ever? Bc everyone leaves in the end? Or backstab? How is anything worthwhile anyways.