Probably a very stupid decision but hey sooner or later i guess sooner is better god i didnt think it would hurt this much but thats alright things will get better someday just that todays not the day haha oh well.

Idk la life is so confusing people are so confusing (again). I will regret my actions and today and every other day is probably the day but aiya nothing i can do but move on like i always do sooner or later i guess later.

But ya very stupid la what am i doing with my life it hurts. It hurts my wrists i think thats why people cut because it really makes them feel better god i really dont understand why is it that my mum says that i have some friends who are really true friends but honestly i havent found them.

What are friends anyway i never really wrapped my mind around that elusive concept of friendship which seems to be absent from my life i guess i dont need it anyway. Who needs people who will end up leaving you for other people anyway. People who will always regard someone else's company as better than yours anyway. It doesnt matter.

Hands are shaking cold my head still hurts my heart still hurts i need to breathe really sigh i need to stop pushing people away really this isnt healthy. But hey who said i was anyway. I feel so sick. So sick of myself god i hate this i want to quit life why do people leave so easily im begging and screaming internally please dont i feel so lonely all i ask for is reassurance and a hand to hold.

And someone to call mine.

And to be someone's.

God my life is so lonely.