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    Why why bring me down?

    Sunday, May 24, 2015 5:10 PM

    Aye I am sad today is a bad hijab day HAHA. Wah I don't even use that word it's so weird but ok more English-ish I guess but ya you get my point!! Sian as much as I think that my self-discipline has greatly improved, my spiritual-discipline has become really really bad I am even more sad because I know it's really really affecting me but I'm not doing anything to help myself :-(

    And I know because I was really good in primary school and God sure rewards good deeds sigh now look at how shit I am now :-( but really difficult la I cannot stand how I succumb to peer pressure and stuff a lot. And I feel so so bad because I know what's right and wrong but I'm not doing it :-( and I keep thinking that there's time to change but the truth is there isn't.

    Also makes me wonder why am I even taking diploma classes in Islamic studies like it is very interesting and relevant and I like it a lot but oh my god I suck so much it wouldn't make a difference to my spiritual level??? Idk la very insecure that's why I'm gonna cut 99% of ties once JC is over :-)