It's been six months now but I think I'm okay now. Took me thrice as long to get used to being without you than when you were there but it's okay I'm okay. I don't know how or why but I am and I am thankful that I don't have to keep hurting anymore.

And somehow, these past six months alone have been one of the best six months of my life. For once I was independent and had a clear vision of what I really wanted in life and nobody was there to stop me. I stood up for myself and worked hard for myself and only myself. Yes, alone, but not lonely. For most part of it anyway.

It's been six years since I was truly alone and I admit I kinda miss the attention but what's the point giving up everything for shit people who don't actually care. It's been six years since I've really focused on studies and important things in life and I must say that I've regretted a lot in these past years. And I've grown a lot more cynical towards love and relationships in general, and I know it's mean but I cannot help thinking about how couples are going to break up sooner or later because that's just the way it is. We might think that we know what we're doing, wanting to prove everyone else wrong, but truth it we will all succumb to it because we are not strong enough or mature enough to take on such huge responsibilities.

And this is why I will run away from these goddamned feelings because I'm sick of feeling things, more than I am sick of being alone. Things will never work out and I know better so I better not disappoint myself and tear down all that I've built in these six months. What a waste. Of effort. And feelings.