Ok wow who am I kidding 99% of the time that I was awake today was spent thinking/daydreaming of things I really shouldn't!!! Also sorta waiting for things that won't happen lol that's why I'm still awake and wasting time double posting but I guess I'll go and sleep soon because my eyes are hurting!!!

Also don't feel like I'm studying enough sigh studying is never enough.

What if I do badly? I really really really did try. And yes although I realise that my writing style has changed slightly in the course of these two months I really do still feel insecure and pressured about grades and studies what a sad fact of reality and I really hate school and how demoralising things are (still) but I really want to do well.

I am really worried. And they say I'm not doing anything to address this problem which makes me even more upset like just breaking down eternally because it really means that all I'm doing isn't enough because results aren't showing and if this isn't demoralising enough, add the fact that some teachers are really mean and horrible and I bet they exist just so as to bring you down too - as if I don't get enough of that from the people around me already.

Ok goodnight I will forever have such insecurities in my mind sigh. I will (maybe not but still) forever keep thinking of impossible things that will never happen yay. C'mon just need to last another six months. Everything else can come at me after that idc!!!