Would be lying if I said that I felt fine, that I was okay. I shouldn't even be typing this on the bus wtf I'm so prone to crying don't even talk to me. I don't even want to cry I don't even want to care. Yaaa dammit I'm fine I'm fine it doesn't matter. I wasn't expecting to win anyways. I'm not a good speaker, I'm not even a speaker. What's the point of having a relatively good project when I cannot communicate it.

So ya what a disappointment I am. I hate that word. I hate that that word encompasses who I am. So what if I did well it was not well enough. The judges didn't think it was well either.

No mood for anything. Why is this deja vu of last year. Me rushing to school again for floorball. Only last year it was much better because I didn't really expect to win as much. And floorball last year was worthwhile. Nothing is worthwhile this year. What am I doing with my life. I'm not good at the things I love. I'm not good at anything at all. Singapore education hurts my brain it hurts my heart and I know that I'm the cause of it. Absolutely hate being disappointed. Absolutely hate being a disappointment.

Don't say I'm the one when we know that I'm not.