But if you loved me why'd you leave me.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
11:21 PM
Boo really really busy after orientation I'm starting to regret taking on so many commitments sigh. Like external training on Saturday then match on Sunday and Monday had elections stuff to do and Tuesday and Wednesday had STaR Symposium!!! So yeah everyday go home and crash and everyday drink coffee even though it doesn't work.
But yeah match on Sunday we lost like mad :( but coach said he liked the loss. It was bad but we learnt and bonded better I think. Nice to know that my teammates have faith in me. And prefer me. And look up to me haha like conceded goals but still keeping my head high while everyone just looked really upset. But what can I do, afterall I'm the one who conceded sigh. But oh well I think that made me less angsty at school training today hahaha. But still angsty. But today was good bc I trained with the guys team who shot really hard shots like in my stomach and elsewhere three times consecutively I almost died. Jkjk. But yeah I feel bad cos I wasn't wearing full suit and according to coach then the guys won't dare to hit so hard which is trueee but goalie stuff very burdennnn.
So yeps besides screwing up math lecture test all is good I think. Kinda regret taking on so much bc no time to study. Maybe shouldn't have chosen elections adhoc sigh orientation then elections is too much and it's not like my studies are fantastic and I still have research!!! But my mentor is nice I'm grateful :) not expecting to win SSEF bc my project isn't a hot topic sigh.
Exactly one month of being 18 and I don't like it and I'm still not over you ugh vday who gives a shit. But yeah honestly I understand why things don't ever work out for me but yeah it's just v v saddenning I don't like to think about it but it just comes sometimes and there isn't really a way to make it go away besides by finding someone else to numb the pain but I can't.