Sigh kinda wanted to blog more often but kinda feel that my private insta + talking to people is enough buttt fine I shall blog once in a while even though what I say here is mostly incoherent sigh how am I ever gonna be a writer :(((

Sigh kinda wanna not take psychology next time bc parents SUDDENLY talk so much about it how annoying. Sometimes I think people try too hard to keep and make a good and happy family but idk it feels as though it's too forced idk I've seen better but really idk just a random comment, no suggestions.

Sigh kinda busy with so many commitments buttt I'm a very committed person okay!!! Next year is gonna be worse hahah hope I don't die or burn out so soon hope things go well.

Sigh kinda not wanna be emotionally attached to anyone at all ugh stop it me how annoying. Worst thing is I kinda mix up between two people like my thoughts always always drift back to Jing Jie and ugh it sucks screw you I am nottt affected okay ugh.

Sigh kinda wanna lead a normal life does it make sense but I think that I'm not well-liked, but liked by many ha ha that's not a good thing. And I guess it is really difficult to find an ideal person you wanna spend the rest of your life with. And I still don't get it but apparently having plans have something to do with upbringing and environment but hey, having plans is good why aren't more people having plans like plans for the future plans for your future life partner. Am I thinking too much??? Bc I started thinking about these things since forever (okay maybe like last year) but yeah. Is 16 years old too young to start planning my life? If so, then when???

Sigh kinda realise it's too late to turn back now I keep making the same mistakes sometimes I think I'm too nice in a way that I can't say no. But like yes it's nice when people actually like you but it's not nice when they say so just to use you and just to try and see if things will work out IT SUCKS BEING USED but sigh I still let it happen bc of the rules I believe in. Sigh I will always reciprocate - good and bad, like or hate - and I can't really help it sometimes I wish these things never happened then I don't have to think so much and try to analyse people and their actions so much. And invest time and feelings. Is it worth it?