"I will not cry this time," I told myself as tears rolled down my face. What a sucker for love I am. The epitome of stupidity.

I want to say so many things, yet I want to say nothing. Making mistakes is fine, but making the same mistake a thousand times over isn't. Maybe this time I'll finally learn. Maybe things will be better. No point being textbook smart when my EQ is so freaking low. No point sticking around, when things won't work out. I knew that. I always did. I will not cry this time.

So there was this thing I read on Twitter a few days back: some Tumblr post that goes like this, in short. "I was eating chocolates and my dog wanted some too. I didn't give him any, because chocolate will make him very sick, little did he know. Then I realised, little did I know, the things I want in life may not be good for me, and maybe, when I don't achieve them, it's the world's way of saying, "Silly girl, if only she knew how bad those things are for her." I believe that.

"Surely, God gives His creations only the things they can handle." I will not cry. I am made for better things.

I am sorry, for being a bad Muslim. I will study hard and marry someone who will lead me to the correct path. Thank you God, for saving me. I pray that you'll save the ones that I love, too. Before it's too late.

I should be angry. All the broken promises, all the lies. But I was expecting it. I will not cry. I am disappointed. I wish I could change people. I wish I could save people.

Haha God has a nice way of doing things and I thank Him every day for not giving up on me, for remembering me, when no one else does. Haha just so happened that I was reading about *translated from Malay* : The small signs that the end of the world is coming. To be honest, it sounds so fantasy-like, it's hard to believe, but I do. The fear is real, if only the non-believers knew. Israel is now tearing down the Al-Aqsa' mosque in Palestine, to build Solomon's Temple. Because the mosque is built above a huge pile of books about black magic and dark practices. And the US is helping blah blah and the Knights' Templar is gonna wreck havoc to bring back their leader, and then we all die. Of course, the believers will be saved from seeing/experiencing the end of the world. Of course, Palestine is protected by God, so in the end, we will win the war. But I wonder, how long will it take to bring down the mosque and build the temple? The end is near. All the small signs have happened. I pray you will believe.

I will make it in this life and the next. I will get my Diploma in Islamic Studies and more. I learnt that if you can't spread the teachings of the Prophet by correcting the actions of others, you advise them. If you can't advise them, pray for them. I pray you will believe. I will not cry.