I'll see you when I fall asleep.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
10:01 PM
Fuck la I don't always swear ugh I hate swearing it's so uncultured ugh. I hate thoughts at night. I hate this pain. I hate how I'm so weak. I hate how I'm falling apart.
Third post with lyrics from the same song. Stupid emo songs in my head. Stupid camo face paint stinging my eyes when I cry. Stupid social media. Stupid life. Stupid me.
Why do people always leave? Why do people always lie to me? Why do I trust people so easily? Fml I really should have opted for that evil thingamajig sealing my feelings shit. Being dumped twice in the same year wow well done good job I deserve an award. Wtf girl twice in the same year how stupid.
I always thought I'd learn. I always thought I'd make it last for real this time. I did things differently this time. All guys are the same. Don't tell me bullshit it's because you date the same type of people because that's not true fuck I made so many mistakes in my life I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't even know how. I don't even know why. But I will not ask. I will not go through the same pain again that's suicide.
I wish people stayed in my life. I wish people found me significant enough in their lives to want to stay in mine. I wish people didn't just like me for my looks or brains (if any).
Stupid girl, I should've known, I should've known.
But I did know. Deja vu all over again. Stop making use of me please I beg you. I actually went through this twice. Ended up with the same result twice. Fuck I need to stop being so nice - helping boys with O levels and then boom after Os they're gone. Fml.
It's okay it's better to give than to receive. I am not angry. I will not cry.
Gonna die tmr lol last meal I ate was lunch at 11am and if events that happened on Saturday are going to repeat, I'm not sure if I'll be in time to save myself now. But does it matter? I'm already dead, I'll rise to fall again.