Heartache, heartbreak all over town.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
10:40 PM
Last post about this. Time to get my life together. Closure part 2 didn't happen but so what. The truth never set me free so I did it myself. 2014 has been a mad year. Did things I never thought I'd do, but I'm glad. Significant things:
1. Orientation 2014. Made friends. Rekindled friendships.
2. SSEF 2014. Reignited my passion for research. Reminded me of my love and interest in it. Tough times but worthwhile.
3. Floorball nationals. One of my favourite bunch of seniors. Good times. Bad times. I learnt never to give up. I learnt to move on. Thank you Clare for goalie-ing with me, talking about everything under the sun from floorball to personal things. Thank you for teaching me to stand on my own.
4. H3 research. Tiring but I learnt to persevere. I learnt independence.
5. Council elections and elects' camp. Taught me many things. Realised my weaknesses.
6. Blood donation drive. I found courage within myself.
7. Council ad-hocs and initiatives. Made new friends, made new work partners. Trustworthy Cereal Party.
8. TPJC Investiture. Made new friends outside of NJC. Made old friends from PRPS.
9. SAYES briefing. Reminded of my passion for research. Found more reason to continue and not give up. Singapore Academy of Young Engineers and Scientists.
10. Found out people who'd always be there for me. Found out people who won't.
So there - 10 main takeaways from this year although the year isn't over yet.
The main main takeaway is point number 10. Thank you bestie for being there for me through stupid things, through my tears. Thank you for all the jokes, for making me feel better. For teaching me academically and emotionally, for making me a better person. For your advice even though I never listen to them. For being the only person I've actually talked out my problems with.
Thank you Nath for being my tutor, and friend. For being that mature individual who never gives up on me even though I myself do. For pushing me and believing in me when no one else does. For being my role model.
Made a playlist of happy songs that I like so that I won't be reminded. It kinda helps - thanks Clare though that was advice months ago. Unfortunately it's only 28 songs out of 650. Nevertheless, things I learnt today:
1. People will always lie. Not just boys. So stop being so naive and move on.
2. Don't fall for people who change because of you. Yes, change for the better but it goes to show that they're only making an effort to get their life together for you - not for themselves which is most important.
3. People will use you. Find those who are worth it and know where to draw the line.
4. Do things for yourself. Be selfish. Because everyone else is. Help others only if they need it - not because you 'love' them. And treat yourself well. I need to stop eating one meal a day.
5. Be with people who make you better while you make them better. Have intelligent conversations.
6. Cry when you need to. It's better than keeping it inside. Talk to people if you need to. Self harm is not the answer.
7. Be patient. Good things really do come to those who wait. But don't procrastinate.
8. Let it go. There are better things in store for you. You are made for better things in life. Know that things will get better, for the better, even though it may not seem like it. Move on.
9. Don't give up because there are people who will never give up on you. It's not the end, pick yourself up.
10. Learn new things everyday. A thinking mind is a healthy mind. Have self control. A healthy mind is a happy mind. Happiness is important. Let it depend on yourself - not others.
Pretty much similar thoughts as Nath I think. It's nice how he says we're so alike, but he's a lot smarter haha. We're both smart, but he's more hardworking. I love conversations with him though we're so busy. I love how he has his future planned out. I love his view on things. It makes me think. No I do not love him that'll be so awkward no I do not have a crush on him that would be embarrassing no no no so wrong. But yeah, someday I'll find somebody like him. All I ever wanted in a partner.