Let me apologise to begin with.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
9:04 PM
So tomorrow is marks checking day. Never felt so nervous in all my years. Probably because I always knew that I'd do well, or well enough anyway. But now, I'm not so sure. I mean I'm not 100% sure like always, probably about 75% sure that I will promote. Promote with 4 H2s is another question altogether.
Yes I know it is my fault for having such shitty attitude towards my studies and it is my fault if I retain and I'm sorry. I don't even know really what to say here but I'm just saying something before tomorrow because tomorrow is when things change forever lol. Yes I wish I tried harder.
But maybe, second chances may not seem so bad after all. I know a handful of retainees and it doesn't seem so bad for them. I guess it seems bad for me because I'm conditioned to doing well. Failure is not an option. Though lately my mind is starting not to care anymore because I can't take education in Singapore it hurts my brains it hurts me because it's so tough and I'm not tough. Yes, I'm the kind of smart people who believe that there's a limit to my mental capacity and that I have reached it. Feeling sorry for myself.