Well if that's the case then I'm the one to blame.

I think I need to stop this reciprocating thing sigh but I cannot help it. :( sometimes I feel that I should stop being nice. Because everyone just takes advantage of nice-ness. Ohman I'm sounding as pessimistic as my tutor. :( but seriously. I don't mind me being used, because that's my fault, compared to people I love and care about being used. That hurts.

Sigh. It's nice if people like you? Is it, really? More of a stressful time. Gawd. Ever since primary school. How much more must I avoid? Avoid people who like me, people who are nice to me omg that's just mean I'm sorry. Sigh. I just don't want to get too close to anyone now. Because it's highly likely that if someone likes me I'll more or less force myself to like that person back because I feel so baddd omg do you understand that feeling??? I'm begging, don't like me if you can't love me because I hate getting hurt for stupid reasons again and again.

And tbh I guess that's why my life is in a mess. I need to stop reciprocating. Not everybody is truthful when they say things. Not everybody is nice. Everybody will use you.

And tbh I don't find anyone really worth my time now. I don't know. Is that a good thing? I guess. No crushes, no eyecandies. No NJ ones anyway. (Update: wow NJ ones really suck: those that I've had unlucky experiences with sigh) We only like what we don't have. We only like what we can't get. Sigh VJ.

Someone, someday. I will find one.