I want joy with my pain.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
11:20 PM
Aye half the holidays are gone and I'm twice as tired as compared to normal school days ugh what are holidays I don't even know now. The last proper holiday I had was December last year. -_-
Research today was okay haha I wish I had a more innovative mind I feel so dumb T.T but well lunch was nice I ate fish and chips without the chips lol but it was really really filling and it was only $3!!! Engineering canteen > business canteen. But I still like eating two packs of chicken rice hahaha.
TrickEye Museum was funnn but like all other Sentosa attractions, the queues are crazy. And I only stayed there for like 1.5hours because of training (which I was late for omg I am so sorry). But yeah. If you think about it, the amount of money I spent on TrickEye museum was like 2x the cost of a movie ticket buttttt I guess it's worth it for once in a lifetime haha.
Training sucked. Times like this I can't help but think I'd be much better off as a stickplayer. Don't get me wrong, being a goalie doesn't suck all the time. I enjoy it more nowadays. Except today lol. Seriously, being a stickplayer is a privilege (doesn't apply to me though I'm not inferior as a goalie nor are my stickwork skills bad okay). But yeah. I'm not even upset at myself anymore (trust me all goalies are especially during nationals) but today sigh. I don't know what to say already lol. Even the prospects of joining another team for league is a lot more attractive. I will fight with a team that will appreciate and share my sweat, blood and bruises.
Idk man have some pride and passion please. Just because NJFB takes in practically everyone for school team doesn't mean that's comforting. Work hard. I worked hard being the only JH4. I worked hard in primary school, where the odds were one in three people being selected for the school team. And standards were much higher. Is this so much to ask for? I'm not even asking to be treated like a princess or whatever lol I fight my own battles.
I hate it. I came here first. Why am I always the one being left out? I hate it. I did not quit one CCA for no reason. I did not quit just to join another CCA where I see the same things happening all over again.
Disappointing performance. Disappointing mindset. Yup if you think I'm referring to you then so be it. If the shoe fits feel free to wear it. Upset on a whole new level. At who? At what? Who knows man. Whatever it feels like I guess. I don't really care anymore. Or I care a lot less after today. Floorball 2013-2014 is the best batch of teammates I ever had. And nobody can change that.
Lol I was gonna Instagram floorball pictures today but nah. Not in the mood and not deserving.