Don’t think I can do this if I’m not with you.

Day 4. Haha yes I know it's already past midnight so not really Day 4 but still. So what's new I obviously screwed up nationals today. Spent my night doing council work. Wow it's crazy tiring T.T but it keeps my mind off things. For awhile at least.

Anyway, this post is dedicated to my friends. Those who were and are here for me, since Day 1. Sigh. Thank you. @solitudinem_ @jizzmanteo @tanazity @jamieballerina @merkuschua @ong_k_c @le_kern @bryanplane @ariffhussain_ @adayum97

I don't know man. People think I'm so nice. That I deserve better. But really, I don't know. I've done wrong things too, just maybe not as wrong. Just maybe at least I apologise. Just maybe at least I was/am serious and loyal. I don't know. Hah. I did so much for you people say our roles should be reversed. Joke's on us.

I don't want to think, but this might prove to be useful someday. Sigh. So hopefully for the last time I shall rewind that memory of us.

1. You acted so cool like it was nothing, like, "Hey what are you doing here?" YEAH OBVIOUSLY MAYBE I TRANSFERRED SCHOOL???

2. You treated me like I was your servant, asking me to help you buy a drink. Take out your money to help you pay. Carry your drink for you. I really wouldn't mind if you were more sensitive. I'm not even asking for you to have offered me a drink.

3. You lied. Going around telling people that you broke up in February then what was that about loving me in March huh.

4. You said I deserved someone better. I said what if I don't. You said then maybe in the future we'll be together again. I AM NOT AN OPTION DAMMIT.

5. You said I deserved someone better. I said why do people always look for better? You said you weren't looking for anyone. HELLOOO GUILTY CONSCIOUS MUCH I SAID PEOPLE IN GENERAL, NOT YOU.

6. I asked what do you want. You said you wanted to be alone. You said you wanted me to be okay. I asked if you're breaking up with me. You said yes. I cried. You said don't cry.

7. You said it was your fault. Then you're not doing anything to make things better? Even if you were breaking up with me?

8. I asked what about all our things. You said you'll keep them because you treasure the memories. Well certainly you don't treasure us and our promises.

9. You brought up things which we promised not to. But nevertheless, you didn't keep your promise of running after me. I don't know, am I insecure and are you insensitive not to care?

10. What about this Victoria person who claims that you're her best friend and you told people that she was your ex. What when how.

Wow I just realised how gross that is. If I were from VS/VJ I will never date someone called Victoria that's just weird. Okay that's a random comment but yeah.

Don't think I don't know about you. Don't think I didn't know about you and your past. But I gave you the benefit of doubt, maybe people just didn't know things from your perspective. I guess I'm lucky enough to know both.

Do I sound angry? I'm upset and disappointed.

I don’t love you
I don’t need you
I don’t ever want to see you again

Cause I don’t think about you, every single night
I’ll be fine without you
I sleep tight when I’m not beside you.
I’m moving on.
No, I don’t cry about you, no those ain’t tears in my eyes about you
Gonna be fine if I die without you baby I’m gone

These are the lies that I tell myself at night
These are the lies that are keeping me alive
These are the lies.