It's hard to imagine that exactly this time last year I was sleeping. Sleeping, but happy. 2014 starts off on a depressing mood. Me doing chemistry homework. Exactly this time last year I felt more confident of myself and my studies. Now? Barely hanging on ha. I once said that the key to breaking me is disappointment, let me add on another: confidence. Because I'm not. Because I used to be. Which makes me, all over again, a disappointment.

Ironic how we have never spent the new year/counting down together. For two years now haha oh well.

But did you know? The day I asked you if you wanted to go out with me and you turned me down? What a cold, harsh reply. And it's stupid that it affected me so muc but it's okay. I can live with that. Did you know? I wanted to see you so badly. Did you know? It was probably the last time together we would have in 2013 and a long time before the next. Did you know? I wanted to tell you so many things in person but you never gave me the chance and it's all too late now. Did you know? Lately, I felt as though I was dying. But no, you didn't because you rejected me.

On a completely unrelated or maybe not note, I get jealous of couples who get together like a fairytale. Surprises and balloons in your room or flowers. At least it's physical. I'm not even asking for romantic.

Sigh skip the new year new me crap because I'm not gonna change. Not easily anyway. A leopard can't change its spots, but some people like leopard prints. Maybe just not you.

I really wanna love somebody.

Just kidding. Honestly I really don't because it screws me upside down and my studies inside out. But sometimes it is nice to belong to someone hmm.