I give up. Seriously won't get to go for AEP trip. It's to LONDON and VENICE and PARIS yknow. I can't even use my own money?? Feeling upset but trying to think of why I even care because I'm not those kind of people who wants to travel the world amd whatnot. But still. Isn't it cool? So cool?? Yeah so what it's a school trip it'll be fun! But nooo it's "a waste of money" gah I feel like bursting into tears and throwing a tantrum. Ohwell. Must maintain my composure. Enduring the silent stoicism. Heh. New phrase I learnt today.

So yeah I wasn't gonna blog but I couldn't help it. Because right now it feels out of place to even confide in you. I wonder why I even think about it.

Ass week is less than a week away the pressure is eating me away I can feel my brain starting to overload and cram from all the stress and info. Plus all these added "problems".

I WANNA GO EUROPE IT'S ONLY TWO WEEKS. IT'S IN JUNE. PEOPLE CAN GO FOR GERMAN IMMERSION AND DESTINATION IMAGINATION TO US AND WHATNOT WHY CAN'T I. WHAT'S WRONGGG. Sobs. What's wrong? What's wrong is my mentality to spend on unneccesary things. What happens after years of self-control. Actually what happens after being subjected to peer pressure in NJ.

Sigh. I'll never get this out of my head. Is 3.5k a lot? In terms of my savings, that's almost 75% so I guess that's a lot. Savings since primary school :/ and I still needa work and earn some income to fund my future marriage right? And me giving tuition isn't enough sigh. It isn't easy either. It's time consuming and tiring and even so with ass week coming I think I am crazy. Giving tuition when I'm already failing math. Joke.

I'm feeling the urge to bake a cake for Mothers' Day but I'm in a bad mood so no.