So lately I've been thinking about my past haha. Like, what's your earliest memory? How does it differ from person to person? How do these memories shape people? For me, my first memory was in kindergarten, or around that age. Anything before, I can't remember. It's not even a blur or fuzzy details, just nothing. It's pretty sad because I think those were happy times which I should remember. That's why I try to remember things now. I don't want to grow old and not remember anything, just living in the now. If I can't remember anything, I should at least remember my life.

I like how I come home to an empty house, sleep in an empty room, wake up to an empty toilet. I don't have to deal with frustrating experiences with my sister. Who makes me feel like I'm being judged for everything I do. It makes me feel like a totally different person at home and outside. I can feel it. I like quietness and solitude. And yet what is life without troubling times and experiences; putting on different facades of your personlity depending on who you're with. I like one who can see it all and loves them, or doesn't mind. Accepts. Acceptance is hard to find. I keep thinking how different life would be if I had gone to RGS or NUSHS or CGS. Like how things would turn out. Will I be a better person? Will I be a shallow minded individual? Will I be as indecisive?

Experiences shape an individual, but I can't help but think of "what ifs" and "if onlys". Am I doing this right?