Can you tell the difference when I lie? No. And fyi, I don't lie. I just ommit certain parts, and twist the words. Fallacious. Equivocation. Or think that I really did/did not do something. Using screwed logic, its the thought that counts. Technically, that's not lying. But these days, there's so much grey area that nobody cares anymore. When something isn't a truth, its a lie. Fallacious. Iforgotwhat.

No, I'm not driving at anything. Just a random thought. Its not fair when you say that I didn't try, I just don't care about it anymore~ "In every war, man sees the bad in his enemy, but never in himself." Guess we all should play Devil's Advocate sometimes. Am I a bad person? I try my best to change. Everyday. I know my best ain't enough but do you believe in magic? Do you believe in miracles? Do you believe in God?

I'm overboard. I'm sorry.

And I thought things were bad enough, up till now. It just gets worse doesn't it? But then again, everybody has their dark side, no?

I'm just a holy fool,
Oh baby its so cruel,
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby~

Its not easy forgetting something so pleasant yet so unpleasant. Or someone. The reason I choose to believe is that if I haven't seen it, I don't believe it. But in this sense, I've already seen it. Or I'm beginning to. I can compare, anyday.

But I hope you'll change. And change the way you look at me. Who you take me for. Its a sad world, isn't it?

Miss?... He... Miss?... Miss me?... What's in me for him to miss?...
- Steward, A Man For All Seasons (Act 2)

Iknowright. I know that feeling. But everybody has a good side too.

I may not have all the answers. Yeah sure, action speaks louder than words. But those words, what do they really mean? Sometimes, I do things not because I hate someone, its unintentional. Baby I was born this way. And I'm not lying. I'm not lying even if you use my defination of lying. And I don't hate anyone.

Sometimes I wonder how I can do this. Held on together but so broken up inside.

"It took me less than half a lifetime to realise that regret is one of the few guaranteed certainties. Sooner or later everything is touched by it, despite our naive and senseless hope that just this time we will be spared its cold hand on our heart."
- Chapter 1, Sleeping in Flame, Jonathan Carroll